If I'm Not In Love With You
by TuesdayGirl
Summary: Spike is sent to kill the slayer. However, he ends up doing the one thing all vampire's fear, yet seem to do. He falls in love with her. But how will Buffy feel when she finds out the love of her life is a liar...
1. At First Sight

Title: If I'm Not In Love With You

Author: TuesdayGirl

Date: April 18, 2002

Distribution: Sure.  But please tell me where.

Email: lisa_alien@hotmail.com

Feedback: I would say 'duh' but I'm not that pathetic yet

Pairing: Buffy/Spike officially.  Don't let the first bit confuse you.  B/S all the way!

Notes: 

The story will be updated every few days, or, sooner if the muse strikes.  Don't worry.  I won't be one of those authors that forgets about a story.

This takes place in season one, after Prophesy Girl.

The song below is by Faith Hill, and entitled, _If I'm Not In Love With You, from the album Breathe_
    
      
    
      
    
    

  


_If I'm not in love with you  
What is this I'm going through  
Tonight  
And if my heart is lying then  
What should I believe in  
Why do I go crazy  
Every time I think about you, baby  
Why else do I want you like I do  
If I'm not in love with you  
  
And if I don't need your touch  
Why do I miss you so much  
Tonight  
If it's just infatuation then  
Why is my heart aching  
To hold you forever  
Give a part of me I thought I'd never  
Give again to someone I could lose  
If I'm not in love with you  
  
_

_  
Why in every fantasy  
Do I feel your arms embracing me  
Lovers lost in sweet desire  
Why in dreams do I surrender  
Lying with you baby  
Someone help explain this feeling  
Someone tell me  
  
If I'm not in love with you  
What is this I'm going through  
Tonight  
And if my heart is lying then what should I believe in  
Why do I go crazy  
Every time I think about you baby  
Why else do I want you like I do  
If I'm not in love with you_

_  
_

"Dance with me?"  Angel asked, extending a pale hand toward Buffy who sat, smiling up at him.

"I thought you'd never ask."  The slayer responded happily, as she allowed herself to be lead onto the crowded dance floor of the Bronze.  Holding Angel close, Buffy swayed back and forth to the music, her head on his chest.  Angel kissed the top of her head and Buffy turned to look up at him, smiling.  When Buffy met his eyes she frowned a little.  She was straining her neck to look up at him, but it wasn't his size that upset her.  It was him.  He was tall and muscular, overshadowing her.  Buffy felt a twinge of fear as, for a second, she feared that she loved him more than he could ever love her.  She feared that what she felt about him no man, or vampire could match.  Angel kissed her soundly quelling all of her fears…at least for the moment…

Somewhere that's else 

            "So let me get this straight, you want me to KILL the slayer?  And that's why you brought me here?"  Spike asked, biting his pale, pink lips to keep from laughing.

"Yes."  A large, black-robed demon said to Spike, not noticing Spike's amused expression.

"It doesn't have to be a production Mercaptil."  Spike said, addressing the gray skinned demon.  The demon answered quickly, he had obviously been expecting this response.

"You have killed slayer before.  Don't think that makes you immortal.  This one's different.  To kill this girl…you have to love her."

Back In Sunnydale 

            Spike walked down the sunlit streets of Sunnydale.  A silver chain hung around his neck.  On the chain was a charm with the initials WC on it.  Standing for William Crawford, his human name.  A spell had been cast over the charm on the necklace, a spell that allowed Spike to appear human.  That way, Buffy's slayer senses wouldn't pick him up, and that way he would be able to interact with her in the sunlight.  

Spike had been walking the streets for around two hours and still there was no sign of the slayer.  He was about to call it a day when he saw Buffy coming down the streets.  Two uncovered textbooks were in her arms, and atop them, Buffy was trying to balance an almost full coke.  Spike couldn't help but smile at the sight of the lethal slayer balancing school books in her arms.  It made her seem so…innocent.  Spike quickly shook his head to get his thoughts back on the task at hand.  He looked down, making sure to avoid the slayers eyes.  When she walked past him he stepped into her, causing her coke to fall and her books to drop.

"I'm so sorry."  Spike said, bending down to help Buffy pick up her books.

"It's OK."  Buffy replied, her voice slightly edgy.  She tossed the Coke that was now nearly empty into a nearby trash bin as she shuffled around on the ground, picking up papers that had fallen out of the books she had dropped.  Buffy paused for a second and looked into the pale blue eyes of the man who had bumped into her and was now helping her pick up her books.  They locked eyes for a second and Buffy found that she couldn't look away.

"What is it?"  Spike asked.

"Nothing."  Buffy answered, blushing as she quickly looked away.

"I'm sorry you dropped your books."  Spike said, helping Buffy to her feet and handing her the textbooks.  After a pause Spike continued.  "But I'm glad I bumped into you.  Buffy blushed once again.

"Well, I better get home.  I have lots of studying to do, you know…finals."  Buffy turned to go.  However, Spike's cool hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"Wait.  I feel terrible about knocking into you.  Can I buy you a replacement Coke?"  Spike asked politely.  However, inside he wished her could just snap the slayers neck, being this polite was killing him.

"I don't know-"  Buffy began, however, she was cut off.

"I feel really terrible.  I'm so clumsy."  Spike said.  "By the way, my name's William.  Though most people call me Spike."

"Well, Spike."  Buffy said, saying his name with an amused expression on her face.  "I'm busy now."

"Please."  Spike insisted.

"What are you, a stalker?"  Buffy sarcastically.

"If I say yes can I see you again?"  Spike asked, smirking at the glare that the petite slayer was giving him.

"You can meet me at work tonight."  Buffy said and immediately regretted it.  _You have Angel.  She reminded herself._

"Where do you work?"  Spike asked, raising an eyebrow, which caused Buffy to forget all about Angel.

"If you want to see me again, you'll find out."  She answered slightly flirtatiously.

"I don't even know your name."  Spike said, feeling like they were in Cinderella and Buffy had just dropped a glass slipper.  Buffy turned and began walking away, her hips swinging slightly.  Spike gasped audibly as her jeans rode lower on her hips.  Buffy abruptly turned.

"Buffy."  She replied.  "My name's Buffy."  Spike watched the slayer until she was out of sight.  Then, he went home to get a phone book and contact everyplace that the girl could possibly work.  For some reason, he found himself oddly looking forward to seeing her again.  Though he knew it would possibly be when he killed her.  _Must be the thrill of the hunt.  Spike thought to himself…Just the thrill of the hunt…_
    
    _If we judge of love by its usual effects, it resembles hatred more than _
    
    _friendship._

_-La Rochefoucauld_


	2. At Second Sight

Part two, enjoy! Nothing more to say for now. Except.Reviews please!!  
  
Buffy's feet were killing her. She felt as though she had spent the entire night patrolling. When, in fact, she had been waiting tables at the Bronze, her new job. The process was taking a lot longer than it should have because, every few minutes, Buffy would glance over at the door of the Bronze, watching to see if Spike appeared. "Stupid bleached blonde," she muttered softly, "makes him irresistible with his oh so sexy British accent." Suddenly Buffy felt a hand on her back. She turned and came face to face with the aforementioned blonde.  
  
"You forgot how charming and seductive I am love." Spike said, smirking at her. Buffy blushed a light pink.  
  
Without another word, Spike took the petite slayer's hand and led her onto the dance floor. Though there was no music, the two began to sway gently.  
  
"Wasn't hard to find you." Spike said.  
  
"How did you find me?" Buffy asked, as Spike spun her once, sending her into a fit of giggles.  
  
"Well, it was just a matter of thinking of where a beautiful young woman." Spike began, pausing as Buffy smiled at the use of the word woman, ".would work. Naturally I thought.strip club.but that didn't pan out-" Spike was cut off.  
  
"So you called everyplace in Sunnydale?" Buffy guessed. Spike looked down, slightly ashamed.  
  
"Well, if you want the truth." Spike said.  
  
"You really are a stalker."  
  
"If I say yes can I kiss you?" Spike asked. Buffy stepped back and looked up at him. She hesitated for only a moment before crushing her lips to his.  
  
Spike's cool tongue found itself inside Buffy's hot mouth. As if in slow motion, their tongues met, battling for dominance. Spike lost all logical thought when Buffy moaned, pressing herself close to Spike. They ended the kiss, only when Buffy's need for air overpowered her need for Spike.  
  
The two stood in silence for a few moments. Finally, Spike talked.  
  
"I want to see you again." He said, ignoring the voices in his head that reminded him that this was the girl he was supposed to kill.  
  
"I can't. I." Buffy trailed off.  
  
"Are you seeing anyone?" Spike asked, afraid of what the answer would be.  
  
"Yes." Buffy answered, suddenly unable to look into Spike's eyes.  
  
"Do you love him?" Spike asked, surprising Buffy. Nobody had ever thought to ask her that. People always told her she didn't know enough about life to know what love was.  
  
"I don't know." Buffy responded truthfully.  
  
"Come to the mansion on Crawford Street tomorrow at three in the morning. I'll help you find out." Spike said, before turning and exiting the Bronze, leather duster swinging behind him. I'll kill her soon. Spike convinced himself. Though he had the sinking feeling that he wouldn't be killing her anytime soon. 


	3. Life's a Show

_Just a little note to please remember to review.  Basically, if you have time to read, you have time to review!_

Part 3:

  
"Your happy." Willow said, closing the metal door of her locker.  
  
"I guess." Buffy said, trying to wipe the smile off her face, and failing.  
  
"Is this giddiness summer related?" Willow asked, knowing her friend was never one to look forward to school.  
  
"No." Buffy said, walking out onto the field in front of Sunnydale and sitting on a stone bench.  
  
"Angel related?" Willow asked, winking at Buffy. Buffy felt like time stopped. Her good mood wasn't about Angel, it was about Spike, the bleached blonde that was the reason she couldn't concentrate on French during her French final. Willow will understand. One of the voices in her head protested. No she won't. Just tell her your good mood is about Angel. Another voice argued. Time picked up again.  
  
"Yes." Buffy said, lying easily. "I can't stop thinking about Angel."  
  
"I couldn't stop thinking about you today love." Spike said, when he saw Buffy approach. The slayer smiled.  
  
"Ditto." The slayer replied, laughing at the stupidity of her own statement. Buffy took a moment to look around her. She was in the courtyard of the Crawford Street mansion, the mansion that few dared to go to, and none returned. Buffy, knew that was because many vamps tended to nest in the mansion. However, she was still a bit nervous about being here, especially if it meant fighting vampires in front of Spike.  
  
"What are you thinking about pet?" Spike asked, taking Buffy's small hands within his.  
  
"Here. Being here, with you." Buffy replied.  
  
"And…"  
  
"I'm not who you think I am." Buffy said, quickly. "I have secrets, one really big secret. I can't tell you what it is. Not now, possibly never."  
  
"That's all right love. I mean, I have my share of secrets." Spike replied cryptically.  
  
"Like what?" Buffy asked curiously. Spike sat in the center of the stone courtyard and Buffy laid down next to him, placing her head on his lap.  
  
Spike searched his mind for something to tell her. But what? He couldn't just come and say that he was a vampire. And he couldn't be in total share mode. He was going to kill this girl…soon…eventually…  
  
"Need ideas of what to say?" Buffy asked. Spike smiled and nodded, an easy out. "Well, tell me what your doing here, in America?"  
  
"I'm here on an internship. I go to college in England, and I'm interning with the mayor." Spike lied.  
  
"You go to college?" Buffy asked, feeling childish.  
  
"Yes. Though I'm only nineteen. It's just that I skipped several grades." Spike lied again.  
  
"Good. I was afraid you were much older than me. I'm only sixteen." Buffy explained.  
  
"You don't seem that young to me." Spike said. Buffy blushed. "Don't do that."  
  
"What?" Buffy asked, confused.  
  
"Don't blush. Don't be embarrassed. Just be Buffy." Spike insisted.  
  
"Who is Buffy?" The slayer asked, smiling slightly.  
  
"A woman, who loves a man. She just isn't sure which man." Spike said. Buffy rolled her eyes.  
  
"And you think the man might be you?" Buffy asked, eyebrows raised.  
  
"Well, I am good looking, charming, sexy…" Spike trailed off.  
  
"And your head, it's just huge." Buffy finished for him. Spike ran his fingers through Buffy's golden hair.  
  
"Why are you here?" Spike asked.  
  
"I don't know." Buffy replied truthfully. "I have a boyfriend. A boyfriend I care about." Buffy's words stung Spike more than he expected. Buffy continued. "But for some reason, you make me smile, and I can't get you out of my head."  
  
"You sound like your in a musical love." Spike said.  
  
"Do I get to dance through the supermarket?" Buffy asked. Spike chuckled good naturedly. His voice deep. "Well, do I?" Buffy asked, sitting up from her position and staring into Spike's eyes.  
  
"Can I kiss you?" Spike asked, surprising himself.  
  
"I…" Buffy trailed off as Spike's lips descended upon her own. She hesitated slightly before pushing Spike gently away. "This is wrong." She whispered, her warm breath causing Spike to shiver.  
  
"Then why does it feel so right?" Spike asked. As he was about to kiss Buffy once more, the slayer rose.  
  
"Now you should be in a musical." She said, smiling slightly. The two stood in awkward silence. "I better get home." Buffy finally said.  
  
"I need to see you again." Spike pleaded, not sure why his desire to see the slayer was so great.  
  
"I…" Buffy trailed off, unsure of what she wanted.  
  
"Tomorrow. Meet me here once more." Spike said. Buffy didn't respond, she just turned and made her way through the barren streets of Sunnydale, back to Revello Drive.  
  
  


Tell me who you love, and I'll tell you who you are.  
  
Creole proverb 


	4. Midnight Meeting

_Um…let's see.  Just another plea for reviews.  Oh, and also, if anyone wants to check out another of my stories, (and possibly review __J__) it would be appreciated.  I suggest More, than a monster, More than a man as I'm going to take So I Can Tell Him I Love Him off the internet so I can do a little rewrite.  Nothing major, I just feel like my writing style has matured and I want the story to reflect that.  Happy Tuesday!_

Part 4:

  
Spike began walking toward the factory where he had been staying. He was smiling slightly, and his step had a bounce in it.  
  
"You haven't even tried." A voice said. Spike turned and came face to face with Mercaptil, the gray skinned demon.  
  
"I'll get the job done." Spike said, eyes darkening.  
  
"Really?" Mercaptil asked. "You'll get the job done by making midnight dates and sharing secrets?"  
  
"You're the one that said to kill her I'd have to love her." Spike protested.  
  
"I was not suggesting that you fell in love. I was merely pointing out that it might be a job hazard." Mercaptil said, his voice raising with each word.  
  
"I'll get the job done." Spike said, softly.  
  
"Tomorrow." Mercaptil said.  
  
"What?" Spike asked.  
  
"She'll come to you at the mansion, she'll place her head in your lap, and you'll kill her." Mercaptil answered, in a voice that left no room for argument.  
  
"Why is it so important to you?" Spike asked. However, Mercaptil had vanished. "Tomorrow." Spike vowed to himself. "She won't even see it coming."  
  
"Angel." Buffy called, opening the door to the small apartment, near the Bronze, where Angel lived.  
  
"Buffy." Angel said, smiling when he saw Buffy entering his apartment. "I haven't seen you recently." Angel said sadly.  
  
"I know." Buffy said, suddenly remembering why she cared so much for Angel, how good he made her feel. "Angel. Lately, I've been having these feelings…" Buffy said, she then trailed off.  
  
"Me too." Angel said. "It's like I can't be without you." Angel continued. A thousand thoughts filtered through Buffy's mind. She contemplated telling Angel how Spike made her feel. However, all she saw was Angel's hurt expression. So instead she smiled up at him.  
  
"Like every second of the day I can only think about one thing." Buffy agreed. However, she wasn't sure exactly which man she was referring to.  
  
"Penny for your thoughts." Willow said, taking a seat next to Buffy on the swings. It was ten o'clock and the two girls were patrolling.  
  
"Just thinking about things." Buffy replied, smiling.  
  
"You've been thinking a lot." Willow said. "You sure you're the slacker I know and love?" Willow teased.  
  
"Yup. These thoughts are one hundred percent non-school related." Buffy agreed. She paused before continuing. "Wills. Have you ever met someone that you can't control yourself around? Like what you do when their near you shouldn't be held responsible for?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Can't say I have." Willow replied.  
  
"Oh." Buffy said, beginning to swing slightly.  
  
"This place is dead." Willow said. "Wanna' check out the Bronze?"  
  
"I should really patrol." Buffy said in mock seriousness.  
  
"Well, what better way to catch vamps than dance with them?" Willow asked with a laugh. Then, she grabbed Buffy's hand and pulled her off the swing. The two began the walk to the Bronze in compatible silence.  
  
When Buffy entered the Bronze it always felt like she was being transformed into a new person. The music took over and Buffy pulled Willow onto the dance floor. After a few moments of dancing Willow spoke.  
  
"Buffy, this completely hot guy is totally checking you out."  
  
"I have Angel." Buffy said, making a vow to herself not to betray Angel again. However, Buffy turned and locked eyes with Spike. Spike smirked and winked at her. Buffy felt herself blush. Then, thinking of Spike's advice to be herself she began dancing once more. Moving her hips in a sensual pattern.  
  
The slayer raised her arms above her head, causing her shirt to rise up. She never broke eye contact with Spike. Then, she winked at him, causing Spike's eyes to grow wider. Willow remained oblivious to the exchange, as her attention was fully focused on Xander, who had just come through the door. Spike winked at Buffy once more before turning and losing himself in the crowd. Buffy sighed, realizing that once more she had lost herself and betrayed Angel. "I'll end it tonight." She vowed silently. Little did she know, Spike was making the same vow.  
  
"Your late." Spike said, when Buffy appeared in the mansion courtyard.  
  
"Just a minute late." Buffy said. She looked down at her watch. "Or thirty minutes…"  
  
"What happened?" Spike asked, coming closer to Buffy, thinking of how he wanted to kill her.  
  
"I had some unscheduled slayage." Buffy said without thinking.  
  
"What?" Spike asked, remembering that he was supposed to be oblivious to vampires.  
  
"Some unscheduled stayage." Buffy said, crossing her fingers and hoping Spike would leave it at that. The gods, however, didn't seem to like her today.  
  
"Stayage?" Spike asked, becoming slightly amused.  
  
"Yeah. Willow, my friend, was all upset. I had to stay with her." Buffy lied.  
  
"At three in the morning?" Spike asked skeptically, raising one eyebrow.  
  
"Yes." Buffy supplied weakly. Spike smiled at her.  
  
"All right then." Spike said.  
  
"Your just going to let me get away?" Buffy asked.  
  
"What?" Spike asked suddenly, thinking Buffy was talking about the fact that he was supposed to be draining the life out of her.  
  
"Your going to let me get away with that excuse?" Buffy asked, tilting her head to the side, exposing her neck.  
  
"What's a woman without her mystery?" Spike asked playfully. Suddenly, Spike felt heat radiating from his necklace. A heat that signaled him to the fact that Mercaptil was approaching. "Probably making sure the job was done." Spike muttered under his breath. Spike turned from Buffy and shifted into game face. He was going to do it. Was going to turn toward her and bit into her beautiful neck.  
  
"I thought about you all day." Buffy said shyly. Just her voice caused Spike to pause, and what she said caused him to slip out of game face.  
  
What's this girl doing to me? Spike asked himself. I'm letting her change me. She's making me soft. Spike couldn't continue these thoughts, however, because he felt Mercaptil growing closer.  
  
"Come with me." Spike commanded gently, not wanting Mercaptil to ruin the night just yet\line  
"Where are we going?" Buffy asked as Spike took her hand and led her into the black Desoto he had parked outside the mansion.  
  
"You'll find out when we get there." Spike said, smirking as Buffy rolled her eyes.  
  
Buffy felt like they had been driving for hours. When, in truth, it had only been half an hour. "You know I have to be back in my bedroom before my mom finds I'm out." Buffy said, growing slightly worried that Spike would drive her across California.  
  
"You will be." Spike replied.  
  
"How much further?" Buffy asked after a short pause.  
  
"Mommy, are we there yet?" Spike asked in a high pitched voice, mocking Buffy.  
  
"Shut up." Buffy said, hitting Spike on the arm in a good natured way.  
  
"Close your eyes." Spike commanded.  
  
"What?" Buffy asked, not feeling comfortable with the idea of closing her eyes in the car with a strange man. However, she complied.  
  
"Good. Keep them closed. We're almost there." Spike said.  
  
Buffy felt the car stop. She heard Spike race around the car and open the door for her. Spike took Buffy's hand and pulled her gently out of the car. The petite slayer heard the car door slam once more, and then was led by Spike.  
  
"Open your eyes." Spike commanded. Buffy did so and gasped. She was standing on the beach. The sand stretched for miles, and the moonlight reflected on the ocean, causing the gently rolling waves to seem more magical than anything.  
  
"It's so beautiful." Buffy said, her voice breathy. She looked and Spike and found him taking off his shoes. Buffy did the same and then began running. Spike stared after her. She looked so young and innocent. Like a siren, sent to lore men to their deaths with her beauty and laughter, instead of her song.  
  
"Come on!" Buffy called to Spike, who willingly obliged, running after Buffy. When Spike caught up to Buffy he snaked out a hand and placed it on her stomach. Spike's plan was to bring Buffy in close to him. However, she fell onto the sand in a fit of giggles. Spike fell down next to her and took her hand in his.  
  
"Look." He whispered into Buffy's ear, sending a tingle through her body. Buffy looked upward where Spike was pointing and came face to face with beautiful, clear stars.  
  
"I spend many nights outside." Buffy said. "I've never looked at their beauty like this. I've never…" Buffy trailed off when she felt tears running down her face. Spike looked over at her, concerned.  
  
"What's wrong?" He asked.  
  
"This." Buffy replied.  
  
"I don't understand?" Spike said, wiping the tears from Buffy's eyes gently.  
  
"I have a boyfriend. And then you come along. You can't just come into my life and make me question everything. This, with you, is wrong." Buffy said, sitting.  
  
"Buffy, please." Spike said gently. The thought of never seeing her again hurt him more than he knew, and he pushed all thoughts of his duty to kill her away.  
  
"Take me home." Buffy commanded gently. Spike didn't argue. The pair silently walked to the car and Spike drove Buffy home.  
  
Your supposed to get shot with an arrow, but I think it hurts less after that.  
  
Manuel, age 8, on love 


	5. In the Bedroom and get your mind out of ...

_You've probably noticed by now, or will soon, that Buffy has mood swings in my story.  For example, at the end of chapter 4 the slayer was angry at Spike.  However, at the beginning of this chapter she's happy to see him.  This, to me, is the essence of Buffy.  I'm not being inconsistent, I'm simply writing about a girl who doesn't know what she wants, and needs to be forced to make up her mind (hopefully with a naked Spike nearby).  Just thought I'd share.  Happy Tuesday…or….Thursday._

_Oh, and before you get to the reading allow me to rant for a moment.  I hate the sixers!  I live in Philly, and they didn't show the Buffy episode from this past Tuesday (November 19) because they were showing a sixers game on UPN.  It's being shown on Saturday, so that's good.  But still, Yuck!  I have to shield my eyes when I go on message boards so as not to be spoiled!  Here ends the rant!_

Part 5:  
  
Buffy climbed through the window, and into her room. Her head was spinning with too many thoughts and ideas. However, her thoughts all stopped when she came face to face with a very angry Joyce Summers.  
  
"Where have you been?" Buffy was asked.  
  
"I couldn't sleep so I climbed out onto the roof." Buffy lied.  
  
"Don't lie to me!" Joyce shouted angrily.  
  
"Mom, you don't understand." Buffy protested.  
  
"I understand perfectly well. I saw you leave a car that I know doesn't belong to any of your friends, and I know you lied to me about what you were doing. You, young lady, are confined to this house." Joyce commanded.  
  
"I'm grounded?" Buffy asked weakly.  
  
"Be happy that's the only punishment you got." Joyce said before leaving the room, slamming the door behind her. Buffy collapsed onto her bed, burying her head in her pillow, and drifting off into a restless sleep.  
  
Buffy awoke when she heard a gentle tapping on her window. She glanced at the clock beside her bed and saw that it was 9:22 at night. Buffy had slept the entire day. The slayer walked cautiously to her window and opened it. There, she came face to face with a brooding Angel.  
  
"What's wrong?" Buffy asked, ushering Angel inside.  
  
"There's someone else, isn't there?" Angel asked.  
  
"What?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I haven't seen you for a while, and when we talked, you were distant. It's OK Buffy. I want what's best for you. It's just…" Angel trailed off.  
  
"Angel. I care about you so much. Sometimes I think I love you." Buffy said.  
  
"But?"  
  
"But I've been…talking to this other guy. And when I'm with him, it's like the world falls away, and I forget about everything. He makes me feel things." Buffy finished.  
  
"You deserve that." Angel said sadly Though Angel had expected this, hearing the words made it hurt more than he expected.  
  
"I'm so sorry." Buffy said. "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you before, I'm sorry I hurt you."  
  
"I'm sorry too." Angel said. He bent down and placed a soft kiss on Buffy's lips. Angel turned to exit through the window.  
  
"Angel." Buffy called to him, softly. Angel turned.  
  
"It does hurt me. Losing you, it may be right, but it does hurt."  
  
"It hurts?" Angel asked.  
  
"Yeah." Buffy whispered. She closed her eyes for a moment and, when she opened them, Angel was gone.  
  
It had been days, three days since Spike had seen Buffy, and he felt like he was going insane. He spent his days and nights pacing the mansion, unable to sleep. All he could do was wait, hoping that the slayer would show up, hoping that she would talk to him, allow him to be part of her life. But no, Spike had received no word from the slayer. "I'm through with it." Spike said, speaking aloud, though only the creak of the floor answered him. "I may not have been able to feed before, I may have been under the damn slayer's spell. I'm done. Tonight. I feed."  
  
Since he met her, Spike hadn't fed. He had been able to live off human food, another side effect of the spell. However, tonight Spike's anger got the better of him. He stripped off his necklace and threw it onto the marble floor of the mansion. Then, he made his way to the Bronze.  
  
"Does Buffy Summers work here still?" Spike asked the bartender.  
  
"No man, she quit. Said something about being busy." The bartender answered. Spike threw money on the bar and grabbed a beer. He then stalked toward the dance floor. A beautiful woman caught Spike's eye. She resembled Buffy in almost no ways. "Perfect." Spike murmured. He placed the bear on an empty table and made his way to the raven haired beauty.  
  
"Hey." The woman whispered into his ear. Spike wasted no time. He grabbed her by her hips and began dancing with her. The woman was a slut, Spike didn't know what else to call her. However, tonight that didn't matter. Spike licked her neck sensually, hearing the blood rushing beneath it. The woman turned in his arms and Spike captured her lips with his own.  
  
The woman was a good kisser, Spike knew that. However, all he could think about was how Buffy's kisses compared to hers. The soft way Buffy's lips touched his, even when their kisses were frantic. The slayer's warm tongue, probing his mouth, and the fact that her lips tasted like honey. Spike tried to ignore these things. Kissing the woman frantically, Spike walked her towards the back entrance of the Bronze and into the back alley. Where, Spike released his hold on her lips. Giving her what he hoped, was an evil grin, Spike shifted into game face. The woman barely had a chance to register what was happening before Spike had sung his fangs into her neck.  
  
Suddenly Spike released his hold on the woman. Images of the slayer staring at him, hurt in her eyes made the warm, buttery blood taste disgusting. Spike turned away from the woman, trying to gain control of his demon. However, when he turned back and saw her there, too frightened to move, he couldn't finish feeding. "Run!" The vampire shouted in frustration and anger. The woman looked at him in disbelief before turning and running.  
  
Spike kicked an empty beer bottle and let an anguished howl escape his lips. He smiled at the satisfying sound of breaking glass. He walked a few more paces before smirking inwardly and muttering. "At least I'm man enough to admit it." He whispered as he made his way to the slayer's house, a slight bounce back in his step.  
  
  
  
"Never question if you are in love or not, because if you were you wouldn't need to ask."  
  
Source Unknown 


	6. Poetry

Part 6:  
  
"Buffy." Spike whispered. Hoping the slayer heard him. She did, and with a yawn Buffy awoke and got up from her bed, grumbling something about cranky slayers who don't get enough sleep. However, when she saw who was outside the window, her eyes lightened.  
  
"Hey you." Buffy said, opening the window and letting the cool night air waft into her room.  
  
"I haven't seen you." Spike said sadly. Buffy smiled at his half pout.  
  
"I know." Buffy whispered. "Come in." She added.  
  
"Why are you whispering?" Spike asked as he leapt from the tree outside through Buffy's window.  
  
"I'm grounded. Not supposed to have people over." Buffy said, rolling her eyes as she replayed the scene of her mother grounding her, in her mind.  
  
"I'm sorry, about what happened on the beach." Spike said, taking a seat next to Buffy on her bed.  
  
"What are you sorry about?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Whatever I did to make you angry, whatever happened."  
  
"I don't even know what happened." Buffy said, turning to look at Spike. A lock of bright, blonde hair fell over her face and Spike tucked it gently behind her ear. Just his touch on her skin sent sparks flying through her body. Spike smiled at her.  
  
"I just don't want that to ever happen again, us to fight." Spike said. "Not that there's an us." Spike added hurriedly. Suddenly feeling like a nervous high school boy, about to ask a girl out on a date. Or even worse, feeling like William, the nervous poet and dreamer.  
  
"There's no us?" Buffy asked, not sure how she felt about that statement.  
  
"Well. You have a boyfriend." Spike said, raising his eyebrows. Buffy smiled. "What?" Spike asked.  
  
"It's the way you said boyfriend, like it was some kind of disease." The slayer explained. "But I guess the disease will have to find somewhere else to fester."  
  
"What are you talking about?" The vampire asked, not understand how they had jumped from the topic of boyfriends to sicknesses.  
  
"It was like the world stopped for him." Buffy said, beginning her explanation. "I would see him, and the world would stop." Buffy looked over at Spike as she said this. "But then I met you, and it only took a day for you to turn my entire world upside down. And it was like, the world stopped for him. But for you, it kept moving. I just stopped caring what was going on outside our little world. It was like every second I wasn't near you, was a second I wasn't living." Buffy finished.  
  
"Are you saying you love me?" Spike asked, his eyes reflecting his fear. Though he wasn't sure if his fear was of being rejected, or accepted.  
  
"No." Buffy replied shortly. She laughed slightly. "I didn't mean it to sound like that. I mean…" Buffy paused. "I broke up with my boyfriend, because in the short time I've known you, I've felt more things than I knew I'd been missing."  
  
"You broke up with your boyfriend?" Spike asked. Buffy nodded. Does that mean we're an us?" Spike questioned, not sure if it was good that the slayer seemed to be so taken with him. However, all his fears were cleared from his head when Buffy responded to his question.  
  
"We're friends." Buffy replied.  
  
"Good friends." Spike added with a wink.  
  
"Good friends who like to kiss." Buffy said. "And go on dates."  
  
"And kiss."  
  
"Definite kissage."  
  
It had been an entire week since the last time Buffy had seen Spike. She had finally gotten her mom to let her out of the house and she was enjoying not being grounded. Summer was beautiful and Buffy was happy. In all respects except missing Spike.  
  
"Buffy. Are you listening?" Giles asked. He had gathered all the scoobies together for a meeting. However, Buffy seemed to be staring into space.  
  
"What?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Exactly my question." Xander seconded. Giles gave him a look.  
  
"I understand what's going on perfectly." Cordelia said. Giles gave her a look saying that he did not believe her at all. "Buffy broke up with Angel, she's upset, and her new honey hasn't called."  
  
"What?" Willow asked. "You broke up with Angel?" Buffy nodded the affirmative.  
  
"Yes." Xander shouted happily, causing him to receive a glare from both Willow and Buffy.  
  
"I'm sorry Buffy." Giles said, feeling fatherly protection for his slayer. "Are you all right?"  
  
"Yeah." Buffy says. "I'm not really too upset."  
  
"Boy, if I broke up with my boyfriend I would be devastated. I mean, it would be the end of an era. An entire relationship…gone." Willow said. She looked around and noticed the strange looks she was getting from everyone.  
  
"I guess you'd have to be there." Cordelia said, resting her hand under her chin and looking at Willow as if she was the ghost of Christmas past.  
  
"Anyone new Buff?" Xander asked, hoping the answer was no. Buffy hesitated. However, she smiled in Xander's direction.  
  
"No." She lied. Buffy wasn't sure why, she just didn't want her friends to know about Spike. She was enjoying having him all to herself. Buffy zoned out as Giles once again began to talk. She smiled dreamily as she traced her fingers over her lips, trying to remember the exact feel of Spike's lips on hers.  
  
The meeting ended and Buffy stayed late for training. It was almost five o'clock when her training ended, and she walked towards the school parking lot lazily.  
  
"I know your seeing someone." A familiar voice coming from behind said.  
  
"No I'm not." Buffy said, all too quickly.  
  
"He must be a real something to keep him from the group like that." Cordelia said, coming up beside Buffy. "Or a real nerd." She added.  
  
"What do you want?" Buffy asked impatiently.  
  
"I want a new leather jacket that matches my prada shoes." The cheerleader answer truthfully. Buffy glared at her and then sped up her walking pace. However, Cordelia kept in step.  
  
"Look Cordy. Not that I don't enjoy these little chats of ours, but I'm very busy, and I have some serious…stuff to do." Buffy said.  
  
"Just be careful." Cordelia said. "Your vulnerable and hurt. Some guys aren't all they seem to be…some are more." Buffy stopped walking for a moment when Cordelia said this. However, she shook the thought off and continued walking. Leaving Cordelia in the dust as she headed for the mansion.  
  
Buffy didn't expect to find Spike at the mansion. So, when she found him, huddled in a corner, reading a book of poetry, she was very confused.  
  
"Do you live here?" Buffy asked sarcastically. Spike looked up, smiling when he saw the slayer standing in the entrance of the mansion. Spike replied to her question only by rolling his eyes. He got up lazily and placed the poetry book on a table in the middle of the mansion before walking over to Buffy and kissing her softly on the lips. Buffy smiled, feeling completely comfortable around Spike. It was like this was home, and everywhere they went that they weren't together was strange and somehow not right. Spike broke her out of her train of thoughts.  
  
"What are you doing here?" He asked, obviously pleased that Buffy had stopped by.  
  
"I wanted to think." Buffy said. "And my feet just carried me here. It's a place I can be alone." Buffy quickly amended the statement. "A place we can be alone."  
  
"That it is love." Spike said, placing a protective arm around the slayer and kissing the top of her head, inhaling the scent of vanilla that was clearly smelled in her hair. Spike reached up for his neck, making sure his necklace was in place. When he saw that it was, he walked with Buffy out onto the courtyard.  
  
"Your not grounded?" He asked.  
  
"Nope." Buffy answered.  
  
"Good." Spike replied. "Good." He murmured again, softer. The two walked in compatible silence until Buffy broke it with a question.  
  
"What were you doing?" She asked, turning to look at Spike, her hazel eyes shining in wonder. To Spike it looked so innocent that he hesitated a moment. When Buffy gave him a concerned look, Spike realized that he hadn't spoken for too long a period of time.  
  
"I was reading poetry." Spike replied, truthfully, though slightly embarest.  
  
"I don't like poetry." Buffy said.  
  
"What?" Spike asked, her voice loud.  
  
"Calm down." Buffy said, smiling slightly at how outraged she had made Spike by simply admitting that she didn't like poetry.  
  
"How can you not like poetry?" Spike asked, his voice still slightly loud, yet back in control.  
  
"I just don't get it. If it doesn't rhyme, it's not worth my time." Buffy said, shrugging. Spike took a firm hold on her hand and dragged her back into the mansion. "Where are we going?" Buffy asked.  
  
"To get some culture." Spike replied. Grabbing his duster of a chair he shrugged it on and then made his way, still dragging Buffy, toward the woods. Buffy noticed that Spike had pocketed the poetry book as they left.  
  
  
  
It is true, there are plenty of fish in the sea, but there are only a few mermaids.  
  
Source unknown 


	7. Carnival

Part 7:

  
Spike and Buffy arrived at their destination as the sun was beginning to set. Buffy found herself in a small clearing on the edge of the woods. A clearing that allowed the pair a clear and beautiful view of the sun as it set.  
  
"I don't understand." Buffy said, referring to where they were, and what it had to do with poetry. Spike took a seat on a large rock, and Buffy did the same.  
  
"The thing about poetry, is it allows you to go somewhere, to experience something that you wouldn't have known you were missing otherwise." Spike explained. "Until you get the hang of reading poetry, of experiencing that amazing feeling, you can read it here, so that way you get an amazing feeling."  
  
"What amazing feeling?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Of being outside, of watching the sunset." Spike said, arms flailing and expression animated as he said all of this. Buffy smiled widly as she watched Spike. He was filled with so much life. Whatever he felt, he felt it fully. When he was happy, his entire soul smiled, and when he was disappointed, his entire body slumped.  
  
"So are you going to read to me?" Buffy asked.  
  
"No." Spike said, surprising Buffy. "Your going to read to me." Spike pulled the poetry book out from his duster pocket and handed it to Buffy. The slayer raised an eyebrow skeptically. Then, tentatively opened the book to a random page. She cleared her throat and began to read.  
  
"If you kissed me, I may cry, because your kiss would move me so  
  
And laughter just wouldn't be enough, wouldn't express all I feel.  
  
So I'm going to cry now, and you don't need to worry about the tears  
  
Because my tears are streaks of silver, and I'm not crying silver because I'm upset  
  
I'm crying because you kissed me, and I hope I cry again tomorrow" Buffy finished reading. She looked over at Spike whose eyes were closed softly and she thought she saw a tear sliding down his cheek. Buffy sighed. "I don't get it."  
  
"None of it?" Spike asked, incredulously.  
  
"I just don't understand how someone could get that worked up over a kiss." Buffy said, shrugging. Without another word, Spike leaned in and captured Buffy's lips with his own. He slid his tongue along her bottom lip before biting down gently. Buffy moaned softly. When Spike ended the kiss Buffy kept her eyes closed for a moment, savoring the memory of the soft, passionate kiss. Spike spoke, breaking the kiss. "You get it now?" He asked. Buffy nodded dumbly, committing the kiss to memory.  
  
"You're a sap." Buffy said, slapping Spike playfully when she finally opened her eyes. The slayer took a deep breath before speaking again. "Look at the sun." She said. "No matter how many times I've seen it, each time it's like I'm seeing it's beauty for the first time. Isn't it amazing how you can look at something and never appreciate it's beauty?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I know exactly what you mean." Spike replied. However, when Buffy turned to look at him she saw that he wasn't watching the sunset, he was watching her.  
  
The next day Buffy woke smiling. The first thought that had entered her mind was of Spike, of the kiss they had shared, and of the day to come. A day that Buffy hoped they would spend together. However, reality soon set in, and Buffy realized, with a sigh, that school started tomorrow. Rolling her eyes and God and whoever else happened to see, Buffy got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. When Buffy got downstairs she was surprised to find not only her mother, but Spike. The two sat, sipping cocoa, and chatting like old friends.  
  
"What's going on?" Buffy asked, confused.  
  
"Buffy." Joyce said, turning to smile up at her daughter. "Your friend William just dropped by to see you. He didn't think I'd be home, and I thought that it would be a good time to get to know him." Buffy smiled weakly. A million thoughts of what her mother might have said flashed through her mind.  
  
"Well Joyce, it was nice to meet you." Spike said, getting up and pushing in his chair, trying to act like a gentlemen.  
  
"Your going?" Joyce asked, surprised.  
  
"Buffy and I had a special day planned." Spike lied, eyeing Buffy and begging her not to disagree.  
  
"Yeah." Buffy said. "We want to spend the day together, it being my last day out of school, and all" Joyce smiled knowingly and allowed the pair to go on their way.  
  
Spike put a hand up to his lips, signaling silence. Without a word, he helped Buffy into the front seat of his car and drove off. Every a few minutes of silence Buffy spoke. "Are we going somewhere?" She asked.  
  
"Yes." Spike replied tersely.  
  
"Where." Buffy asked, cocking her head to the side.  
  
"Somewhere." Spike replied, receiving a roll of the eyes and playful slap from Buffy.  
  
"I'm serious." Buffy said.  
  
"So am I." Spike countered, receiving a frustrated glare from Buffy.  
  
"Well, how long is the drive?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Not long." Spike said. And, before Buffy could speak again, he continued. "I promise it'll be worth it. I want out last full day together to be special." Buffy smiled at that comment and stopped talking.  
  
"We're here." Spike said, tapping Buffy lightly but insistently on the shoulder.  
  
"Huh?" Buffy asked, groggily. The slayer had fallen asleep, leaning against the window, and was not pleased about being disrupted from her nap.  
  
"We're here." Spike repeated, before leaning down to kiss the slayer lightly on the lips. Buffy smiled. Then she quickly opened the door and took a look around. The sun was high in the sky and Buffy guessed it was almost noon. She spun in a circle and saw a large, grass area, covered with food stands, oversized stuff animals, and rides. Farther back a Ferris Wheel rose up to meet the sky.  
  
"You brought me to a carnival!" Buffy shrieked excitedly. She turned toward Spike, who stood, leaning casually against the car, his black duster blowing gently in the warm breeze. Buffy lunged at him, jumping into his arms and kissing him all over his face. When she reached his lips she paused, kissing him more deeply. When she had felt she had properly thanked him, Buffy took Spike's hand and pulled him toward the carnival entrance.  
  
"Are you sure you're sixteen?" Spike asked, when he spotted Buffy eyeing the cotton candy stand, a devilish glint in her hazel eyes. Buffy looked down, embarrassed.  
  
"I can't help it. Going to the carnival, I can't help but get wrapped up in the spirit." Buffy explained.  
  
"I get excited about eating poetry, giant teddies bears tickle your fancy." Spike said with a good-natured smirk. He shook his head fondly and allowed Buffy to drag him off to the cotton candy stand.  
  
Night had begun to settle over the carnival, and the rides had just lit up, the Christmas lights attached to them causing the fair to look magical. "So why do you like the carnival so much?" Spike asked. "I mean, I thought you'd like it, but I didn't expect this much enthusiasm." The bleached blonde added.  
  
"I don't know." Buffy admitted. The pair sat atop a picnic table, Buffy's head resting on Spike's chest as they watched the stars and fed each other ice cream. "When I was little I used to beg my father to take me to the carnival. My old school in LA had one every year." Buffy explained. "And every year I would beg my dad until he gave in. It was a ritual. I knew he would give in, and he knew I would beg. But the year mom and dad divorced, it was all different. I begged him to take me for two weeks, and the last day the carnival was open he finally said yes. He told me to meet him outside the entrance. I waited there half the night. Even after it started to rain I didn't go in. Dad never showed. Mom had called the police when she found out I was missing, a cop found me and they had to drag me from the entrance. I was afraid that if I left, Dad might show up and think I didn't wait for him." Spike kissed the top of Buffy's head protectively, hoping that the small gesture would help him to take away some of her pain. She continued. "Going to the fair is something that I associate with being little, and naïve. I've only gone a few times since that year Dad didn't show. I guess, every year I kind of hope that I'll find my dad, waiting for me by a ride."  
  
"I know I'm not your dad, but would it be OK if I take you on some more rides?" Spike asked, as he fed Buffy the last spoonful of vanilla ice cream. Buffy smiled and nodded. Spike helped her down from the picnic table and took her hand, leading her towards the Ferris Wheel.  
  
Buffy and Spike waited in line for almost an hour before a cart was open on the Ferris Wheel. However, the smile that lit up Buffy's face when they got on the cart was worth the wait. It was a truly addictive smile. One that lit up her entire face. Spike really liked seeing it on her. He liked being the one that put it there. The cart climbed up the Ferris Wheel stopping at the very top. Something that delighted both Spike and Buffy.  
  
"It's like a scene in a movie." Buffy said. Spike looked at her, confused. "Where the fireworks go off, and the main characters share their first kiss."  
  
"But we've already kissed." Spike said.  
  
"We can pretend." Buffy suggested. Spike smiled at that idea, his eyes glittering in the moonlight.  
  
"But what about fireworks?" Buffy asked after a moment.  
  
"Boom!" Spike said loudly. Buffy laughed softly before leaning in and capturing Spike's mouth with hers. Buffy rested her hand on Spike's cheek and moaned as the hand that Spike had on her back began massaging her tense muscles. Spike smiled as he felt all the tension in the slayer's body slip away. For a moment, he wondered how Buffy managed to be so tense. However, he banished that train of thought from his head when he realized it led to thoughts of vampire slaying, and guilt related to his betrayal.  
  
Guilt was a new feeling for Spike, one that he was beginning to hate. The only guilt he had ever felt had been when he was human. Now, however, he was feeling guilty for lying to Buffy. That was one of the things he loved most about Buffy, she made him feel human, made him want to be different. The charmed necklace was wonderful, it allowed him to go through human actions. However, it was the petite slayer who made Spike feel like he belonged in the human world. Often times he would forget that he didn't belong in the human world. When Buffy was around he found himself forgetting that he was sent to kill her, not to find companionship with her.  
  
These thoughts were also banished from Spike's head as Buffy ended the kiss and smiled at Spike.  
  
"There's something I have to show you." The slayer said. Spike looked at her, confusion written across his face.  
  
"Where?" Spike asked.  
  
"In the graveyard." Buffy responded. "I need you to know who I am."  
  
  
  
"Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love…  
  
How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics  
  
so important a biological phenomenon as first love?  
  
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour.  
  
Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.  
  
THAT'S relativity."  
  
…Albert Einstein 


	8. In the Cemetery

Part 8:

  
"I realize this is your town love, but I don't think that Restfield Cemetery is exactly the spot where teens like to hang out." Spike said, pretending he had no idea what Buffy was about to tell him. However, Spike's mind was churning, trying to come up with a plan so that he could pretend to have some vampire knowledge. That way, if he were to let facts slip out, he would have an alibi.  
  
"We're not here to hang out Spike." Buffy explained, taking a seat atop a tombstone and patting for Spike to sit next to her. "We're here so that I can tell you who I am…what I am."  
  
"Let me guess." Spike said. Buffy rolled her eyes in a good natured fashion and Spike continued. "You're a ….supermodel doing a night shoot." Spike guessed playfully. Buffy shook her head. "You're an ……. undercover cop." Spike guessed again. This time Buffy kicked him lightly in the back of his knee. "I know. You're a slayer." Spike said.  
  
Buffy had been all set to say no. However, Spike's words took her by surprise. "What did you say?" She asked softly. Thinking that she must have misheard Spike.  
  
"I know about slayers and vampires, love." Spike said, a plan fully formed in his mind.  
  
"What…how?" Buffy asked in disbelief.  
  
Spike hopped down from the tombstone and began pacing. "My great- great-great-great grandmother was a slayer." Spike explained. "She wasn't aloud to tell anyone, but word got out in our family. She was a strange slayer. She had family and friends. She even married. Becoming the only slayer ever to live who bore children."  
  
"That's amazing." Buffy said, eyes wide in fascination. She knew that most slayers did not have children, family or friends. Therefore, the thought that there was another slayer like her, with people who cared for her amazed Buffy. Spike continued with his story.  
  
"Because she was a slayer, her children were born with supernatural strength. Given abilities similar to slayer's abilities. Of course I doubt I'm a match for you." Spike added, downplaying his abilities in the hope that Buffy would not catch on to his large lie.  
  
"All this time I was hiding from you." Buffy said, hopping down from the tombstone and walking over to Spike. Her warm hand on his muscular arm caused him to stop pacing. Without a word Buffy embraced him. "I knew we were perfect for each other before." Buffy said. "This just shows it. No more lies." The petite slayer added as she snuggled into Spike's welcoming and protective embrace.  
  
"No more lies." Spike whispered, pushing back the feelings of guilt he was having. "I'm not giving her up." Spike whispered to himself. "No matter how many lies I tell."  
  
"Sorry to ruin this precious moment." A booming voice that came from behind Spike said. The slayer quickly lunged toward the voice, knocking the man, who was now in game face, to the ground. Spike stood back as the slayer worked. Admiring her every move as she fought the vampire.  
  
She fought with a grace that Spike had never seen matched. Her fighting was a mixture of all different styles. The demon, barely more than a fledgling, was pounded to a pulp by the time Buffy stuck the stake through his heart in one swift motion. "That'll put marzipan in your pie plate bingo." The slayer said, satisfied with a job well done. However, she turned angrily when Spike let out a low, rumbling chuckle.  
  
"I think you need to work on your punning love." Spike suggested.  
  
"I have better puns." Buffy said defensively. Smiling slightly at Spike, who was obviously staring at her in admiration.  
  
"Punning aside, your amazing love." Spike offered, by way of a truce. Buffy accepted, taking his hand.  
  
The pair walked off, set upon spending the rest of the evening together.  
  
"You know how we said no more lies?" Buffy asked. Spike nodded. "I guess that means you should come over for dinner tomorrow night. Meet my friends."  
  
"No." Spike whined. However, Buffy turned to face him, kissing him deeply, and Spike's mind miraculously changed.  
  
  


Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - A.W. Pinero 


	9. Yellow

Part 9:

  
It was yellow. Not just yellow, but BRIGHT yellow. The kind of sunshine yellow that belonged on postcards of Hawaii. But it wasn't on a postcard, it was currently a yellow that was being used as the tablecloth at the Summer's back to school dinner.  
  
"I don't think it's that bad." Joyce said, ever the optimist. Buffy looked at her mother like she had grown two heads.  
  
"It's terrible. He's going to hate the table cloth, and therefore not be able to enjoy dinner, and than he's going to hate me because I helped cook the dinner, and…" Buffy trailed off, staring at her mother with eyes wide with fear. The doorbell had just wrung.  
  
Buffy stood in front of the oak door, hesitating before opening it. Glancing quickly at the hallway mirror she took one last look at herself. The slayer's hair was up in a loose bun that exposed a long, tan, neck. She wore a beige, off the shoulder peasant top that cut off just above her belly button, and a deep blue skirt that flowed down to her light brown sandals. "Perfect" Buffy whispered before opening the door, a wide smile on her face.  
  
Buffy's smile dropped when she saw who was at the door. Not Spike, as she'd expected, but Xander, Willow, Giles and Cordelia. Xander smiled widely at Buffy. Willow waved shyly, Giles greeted her with a terse but cheerful, "hello" and Cordelia raised one eyebrow, letting Buffy know that she was only here to meet Spike, and make Buffy's night a living hell.  
  
"What's wrong Buff?" Xander up, picking up on Buffy's dissapointment.  
  
"I thought you were Spike." She said, shrugging slightly. Buffy looked down at her feet and then up at her friends again. This time, however, a smile was once again on her face.  
  
"Your excited." Willow said, coming into the Summer's home with the rest of the scoobie gang following behind her. Buffy led them to the living room couches as they gossiped.  
  
"Terrified, excited, lonely. It's only been one day and I miss him." The slayer admitted, giggling.  
  
"I bet he's not that great." Xander muttered softly. However, Cordelia and Buffy heard him. Cordelia rolled her eyes however, Buffy paused for a moment.  
  
The slayer knew that Xander had a crush on her. However, she hoped that Xander had gotten over her. And, she hoped that he would be kind to Spike. Buffy pushed those thoughts out of her head when the doorbell rang once more.  
  
"Hey." Buffy said, when she opened the door and found Spike on the other side, waving to her. Buffy's eyes widened as she got a better look at him. She could tell, even though she knew most other people wouldn't be able to, that Spike had made an effort to look nice. His black jeans had been replaced by nice black slacks, and his normally slightly grungy shirt had been replaced by a new, crisp, black, tank top. Spike's trademark duster was on. However, in his hands he carried a small bouquet of assorted flowers.  
  
"For your mum." Spike said, sliding his tongue along his top teeth in the obnoxious way he did when he knew Buffy was thinking inappropriate thoughts.  
  
"Slayer." Spike said, snapping Buffy out of her train of thoughts.  
  
'Huh?" Buffy asked, her mouth opened in awe.  
  
"Best close your mouth before the flies come in it love." Spike said, grinning.  
  
"No, I mean what did you call me?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I called you slayer." Spike responded.  
  
"That's what vampire's sometimes call me." Buffy said, eyes narrowing in confusion.  
  
"That's what you are, isn't it." Spike answered easily.  
  
"No." Buffy said defensively. Spike corrected himself.  
  
"Your right, it's more than that. It's who you are, or at least part of it. There were tons of slayer's before you love, but right now you're the slayer. And your Buffy. It's who you are."  
  
"Thank you." Buffy said, kissing Spike lightly on the cheek. Spike smirked, not needing to ask what the "thank you" was for. Knowing it was for many things. The two paused for a moment. Spike broke the silence.  
  
"Don't I get a good luck kiss. You know, before meeting your mates and all?" Spike asked. Buffy rolled her eyes, trying to conceal her happiness, before tilting her head to the side and kissing Spike soundly.  
  
The kiss heated up slightly, with Spike's tongue creeping into Buffy's mouth and dancing erotically with her own. However, a creak of the floorboards reminded them where they were and the pair quickly parted. Spike nodded, showing that he was ready to enter the parlor, and Buffy placed a chaste, but firm, kiss on his lips before grabbing his hand and pulling him into the parlor.  
  
"Everyone, this is…" Buffy began.  
  
"William." Spike cut in. "William Crawford. But my friends call me Spike."  
  
"And this is Willow, Giles, Xander and Cordelia." Buffy said, pointing to everyone in turn. A nervous smile on her face. "Mom's in the kitchen." She added, catching Spike's confused look.  
  
"Hello all." Spike said, waving and smirking. Spike took a seat in a large armchair across from the couch where the scoobies sat.  
  
"So…you're English?" Giles asked, trying to get conversation started. Spike nodded.  
  
"I'm interning for the mayor. I attend college, though I'm only 19." Spike explained, the lie coming so easily he almost forgot it was a lie.  
  
"Wow…19." Cordelia said, staring at Spike.  
  
Buffy narrowed her eyes at Cordelia. The cheerleader was obviously very taken with Spike. Her eyes hadn't left his tight abs, which could be seen clearly under his black t-shirt. Willow coughed, trying to distract Cordelia from Spike, as she saw how angrily Buffy was looking at Cordelia.  
  
"What?" Cordelia asked in a whiny voice.  
  
"Just had a frog in my throat." Willow lied. Spike however, had seen the exchange and winked at Willow when she turned in his direction. Willow smiled. She liked Spike.  
  
"So. How long have you two been an item?" Xander asked, his voice taking on an even quality that Buffy knew meant trouble.  
  
"An item?" Spike asked, giving the boy a hard time. Something about the way he looked at Buffy disturbed Xander.  
  
"You know. Dating, in a relationship. Dancing the tango of loooove." Xander explained. "Forget about the last one." He added.  
  
"Gladly." Buffy said. "And to answer your question…" The slayer began counting on her fingers.  
  
"3 weeks and two days." Spike answered without hesitation. Buffy turned to him and smiled. Spike smirked. "I'm good with numbers is all." He whispered self consciously. However, Buffy seemed to take well to the fact that he had been keeping track of how long they had been dating, and walked over to where he was sitting and sat on the armrest, placing her hand lovingly and possessively on the nape of his kneck.  
  
Giles took his glasses of and began cleaning. "Well." He said, scrubbing vigorously with his handkerchief. The conversation stopped for a few moments of awkward silence until Giles continued. "Buffy. May I speak to you after dinner. I don't want to forget to ask you about something." Giles said.  
  
"Tell me now." Buffy said, looking slightly concerned.  
  
"It's about…" Giles paused, glancing at Spike, who was looking at him with great interest. "…work." Spike concluded lamely. Suddenly Spike snapped his fingers loudly.  
  
"You're her watcher!" He exclaimed excitedly, finally putting the pieces of the puzzle that was his slayer's life together.  
  
"What?" All the scoobies asked in unison.  
  
"I said…" Spike began, however, Buffy cut him off.  
  
"He knows, Giles." The slayer explained. Giles opened his mouth to say something, but Buffy spoke once more. "And before you reprimand me, know that I didn't tell him." Buffy said, fudging the truth slightly. Ignoring the fact that she was planning on telling him. "His great grandmother, a while back, was a slayer."  
  
"That's amazing." Giles said. I didn't remember hearing of any slayers who bore children.  
  
"Well, she did." Spike said. "We're not like normal children though. Slayer's children are born with supernatural strength." Spike explained.  
  
"That's fascinating." Giles said, his lips turning upward in a smile. Buffy grinned at Spike as he and Giles began to talk about England, and about slayer's and vampires. Giles seemed to be warming up to Spike, and seemed to be impressed with the amount Spike knew about slayers and vampires.  
  
"Three down, one to go." Buffy said, glancing at Xander, who was scowling. However, Buffy didn't have time to try and make the boys play nice, because just then her mother appeared in the doorway, announcing that dinner was ready, and all slayer related conversation ended.  
  
"The food's delicious Joyce." Spike said honestly. He felt no need to be extra nice to Joyce, he liked her. Spike was slightly worried about himself. He found that he fit in well in the slayer's world. Spike respected Giles. He knew a bit about watcher's and, in the short time he had been speaking with him, he found that Giles was an exceptional watcher. He honestly respected the man who seemed to have a fatherly affection for the amazing girl he was courting. Spike also liked Willow. The redhead, whom he had begun to affectionately call Red, seemed like a nice girl and good friend to Buffy. Spike found himself liking Cordelia. She reminded him of Cecily, a woman from Spike's past. And though memories relating to Cecily tended not to be pleasant. The girl made Spike think of ways that he and Buffy were alike, and that eased his mind when he became guilty from lying to her. The only one that Spike disliked at this time was Xander. It wasn't that the boy was a bad person, as he seemed to be loyal to the slayer. It was just that Spike got the unsettling feeling that not only did Xander not like him, but that his love for Buffy ran much deeper than a friendship.  
  
"Spike?" Buffy asked, tapping Spike lightly on the arm. Spike looked up at her, smiling.  
  
"Sorry, I zoned out for a bit, love." Spike said, squeezing her arm reassuringly." Buffy smiled back at him.  
  
"I was just wondering if I could talk to you for a minute?" Buffy asked. Spike's eyes clouded over in concern for a moment. However, Buffy smiled at him reassuringly.  
  
Outside in the hallway Buffy paced a moment before speaking. "Everyone seems to like you." She said. Spike nodded, wondering where this was going. "And I like you." Buffy added. Spike nodded once more and Buffy began to pace.  
  
"Just spit it out love." Spike said, becoming impatient, as his curiosity got the best of him.  
  
"Mom has this shore house and I thought maybe she'd let us go up for the weekend, since this week we won't see each other much. Me being at school, and you being at work." Buffy said, in one breath.  
  
"Are you asking me if I want to?" Spike asked, arching an eyebrow playfully.  
  
"Yes." Buffy said, curving her lips into a smile as she caught onto Spike's playful mood.  
  
"Well I'd have to think about it." Spike said. The seconds ticked by. One….two….. "Alright, I'll go." Spike said, happily, as he fingered the charmed necklace that he was wearing, underneath his shirt.  
  
"I'll ask after dinner." Buffy said happily. Leaning up and allowing Spike to capture her mouth in a firm kiss.  
  
"I can't wait Buffy." Spike said honestly. Smiling as he saw the slayer, so full of life, bound into the dining room to ask her mother. Spike waited a few seconds and used his vampiric hearing to make out the delighted squeals coming from Buffy and Willow. He smiled. "God I love her." Spike whispered, truly forgetting all the lies he was telling the slayer for the first time since he'd met her.  
  
Love is much like the wild rose, beautiful and calm,  
  
but willing to draw blood in its defense  
  
Mark A. Overby


	10. At the Beach

"Are we there yet." Buffy asked. Spike sighed. "No. For the ten thousanth time, we are not there yet." "I just can't wait." Buffy explained, ignoring Spike's remark. "I love the ocean." Buffy explained. "I know you do slayer, but we aren't getting there any faster by having you ask if we're there every five seconds." "Fine, fine, I'll take a nap." Buffy said, smiling. However, to Spike's delight, instead of leaning against he cool glass of the window, Buffy rested her head on the crook of his arm and snuggled closer. Spike leaned down and kissed the top of her head. Buffy sighed, content.  
  
  
  
Timehaspassedtimehaspassedtimehaspassedtimehaspassedtimehaspassed  
  
  
  
"Slayer, we're there." Spike said, gently shaking Buffy awake as he parked the car in front of the beach house, which was right next to the beach. "Uhuh." The slayer groaned sleepily. "We're there." Spike whispered once more. Buffy looked up into Spike's bright eyes before placing a firm kiss on his lips. "What was that for?" Spike asked. Buffy shrugged before climbing onto Spike's lap and showering kisses all over his face. Spike returned her kisses eagerly, grinding his pelvis lightly into hers. However, Spike abruptly stopped. "What's wrong?" Buffy asked, slightly out of breath. "Nothing." Spike said, pushing Buffy off him and opening the car door. Buffy followed Spike out of the car door. She was going to bring up what had just happened. However, the look on Spike's face stopped her. Spike was staring at her with a mixture of fascination, fear, and utter devotion and love. Buffy stared back. Spike didn't know what to do. He could feel himself reacting to Buffy. Just her presence drove him over the edge. And her touches only furthered his arousal. Spike tapped into his vampiric hearing, and could hear the blood rushing through her veins, and hear unsteady breathing, due to many kisses. Spike wanted her. That much he knew. But Buffy was like forbidden fruit. A slayer, pure and innocent, as well as tough and strong. Buffy wanted Spike. She could feel herself reacting to him. Just his presence drove her over the edge. His touches and kisses made her lose her mind, and she felt like they were the only two people on earth. Wished that they were the only two people on earth. Buffy wanted him, that she knew. Spike was everything she had ever looked for. Sweet and caring, sensual, handsome, strong, and lively. "Let's put our stuff away and then head to the beach." Buffy suggested. "We can watch the sunset." Spike was happy for he change of subject and smiled, taking Buffy's hand and opening the trunk of the car with the other as they pulled their luggage out of the car. "Good god woman, how many pairs of shoes did you pack?" Spike asked with a smile, as he unloaded Buffy's two suitcases, both heavy, and then his small, overnight bag. "I want to look my best." Buffy said. Spike bit back a remark about Buffy not needing any clothes if she wanted to look her best. He didn't want to push his luck, especially after what had just happened. The beach house was beautiful. It had two bedrooms, a small living room, and a small kitchen. A wide window offered a beautiful view of the ocean, it's waves rolling and crashing just a yard away. The pair dropped their luggage in the middle of the living room floor. "Let's go tot he beach." Buffy suggested. Spike agreed. The beach was clearing out and Spike and Buffy managed to find a small area near the sand dunes where they could be alone. Buffy sat, hugging her knees to her chest until Spike wrapped a protective arm around her, and she snuggled into his embrace. "Tell me about what it was like for you, when you were little." Buffy commanded, her voice soft and loving. Spike hesitated a moment. However, one look at Buffy's puppy dog eyes, and Spike knew he could never refuse her anything, especially such a small request. "My father wanted me to be a carpenter." Spike began, with no introduction. Buffy nodded along. "But I wanted to be anything but that. I wanted to be a poet. To write about the beauty and mystery all around me. To write about love. I thought there was nothing better than that." Spike said honestly. Telling Buffy the truth, simply not adding details about the time period. "My mum died when I was very young. I was only seven when she passed away. We were close, closer than most mothers were to their son's. Sometimes, I go to the cemetery where she was buried and leave poems there." Buffy closed her eyes lightly, enjoying the sound of Spike's words and the warm feeling they left inside her. Spike continued, finding that he was unable to stop. No one had ever asked him about his family and childhood as eagerly as the slayer had. No body had ever wanted to know. "I had one sister, Elizabeth. She was beautiful. You remind me of her. She was independent, never wanting help when she thought she could do it herself. But sometimes, she would open up to me and I found a young girl who needed companionship more badly then even she knew. She died without love though. There was an attack, while I was out, she, my father and our maid we're the only ones home, they died." "Vampire's?" Buffy asked, a tear rolling down her cheek in sorrow for Spike, a man who had overcome so much. Spike nodded. However, he didn't tell her that it had been Angelus, Darla and Drusillia who had done it, wanting to send him a message. "Couldn't your sister fight, being given superhuman strength?" Buffy asked, not wanting to pry, but at the same time curious, and wanting Spike to open up to her about this. "These vampire's, they were strong, and old. Liz couldn't protect herself." Spike explained. "She was only fourteen." "I'm so sorry." Buffy whispered, hugging Spike tightly. "I tried becoming a carpenter, wanting to please my Dad, though he was already dead." Spike continued. "But I couldn't. So I tried to please my mum. I knew that she would want me to be happy. So I went to a university and majored in English." Spike said, smiling as he spoke of a life which he had started, before being turned into a vampire. "Then why are you interning for the mayor?" Buffy asked, reminding Spike of the lies that he had told. "I.uh.." Spike stuttered for a moment. "I want to write political speeches. Beautiful and passionate speeches for people to deliver. Speeches that the entire world will hear." Spike lied easily, smiling widely as he got caught up in his fantasy life. "That's amazing." Buffy said. "Your amazing." She continued. "I know, I know." Spike said, sarcastically. "I'm serious." Buffy insisted. The sun began to set and the pair sat in a comfortable silence. The beach cleared out as the few people left reacted to the chill of the wind, and Buffy and Spike snuggled closer together. Buffy broke the silence with a remark that startled Spike. "Do you want to have sex with me?"  
  
Back in Sunnyhell  
  
"Is Buffy here?" Angel asked, entering the library. The scoobies looked up startled. Xander and Willow were researching a demon the gang had attempted to kill on patrol, (it had gotten away), and Giles had just come out of his office, holding a heavy book on demons in his hand. "Angel." Giles said, surprised. The gang hadn't seen Angel since word of Buffy and his break up got around. Xander smiled and rubbed his palms together like villain's in comic books, he couldn't wait to taunt Angel with news of Buffy and her new boyfriend going to the shore this weekend. "I need to talk to Buffy." Angel said. "I have some news about a vampire." "Buffy's out of town." Giles said, before Xander had a chance to speak. "I went to her house and Joyce's car is still in the driveway." Angel remarked in confusion. "Buffy had someone drive her. She's going to the beach with a friend." Willow said, cutting Xander off similarly to how Giles had. "Oh." Angel said, seeing through their lie, but trying not to brood. If he couldn't be with Buffy, he would still save her from danger. "Perhaps we may be of service." Giles said. "There's a vampire that I just received word might come into town any day now. His name is William the Bloody. He goes by a nickname, but I think he'll be listed under that name." Angel explained. "You know a lot about him?" Willow asked, surprised. "He's mine." Angel said, shortly. "Oh." Xander said, not sure what to say to that. "Are you sure you want to help kill him?" Giles asked, knowing that vampire bonds with their childe were strong. "I'll at least give you information. This vampire, he's strong, and dangerous. And don't think that tales of Buffy's greatness will deter him. He's killed slayer's before." Angel said. "Well, I suppose we should start researching him." Giles said, turning to Willow and Xander. The trio turned to Angel, only to find had disappeared once more.  
  
"I'd rather be miserable with you than without you." -Gigi, from the movie "Gigi"  
  
  
  
*Next chapter will be NC-17* 


	11. Forget to Think

            "Do you want to have sex with me?"  That question echoed in Spike's ears for what seemed like hours, though in truth, it was only seconds.

"How can you ask me that?"  Spike asked, scrunching his forehead in confusion and staring straight into Buffy's bright eyes.

"All you have to say is yes or no."  Buffy said, her temper starting to flare.

"Slayer, it's not that simple."  Spike said edgily.  However, seeing Buffy's face redden with anger, he calmed his voice down and tried to approach the subject differently.  "I care about you, and of course I want to…"  Spike's voice trailed off.

"I love you."  Buffy whispered.  "Powerful, messy love.  And sometimes, it scares me how quickly things have happened.  But I know how I feel.  And lately, I feel like every time I kiss you.  Like every time I touch you, you want me to let go.  Earlier in the car…"  Buffy said.  However, Spike cut her off.

"Slayer, I'm older than you."  Spike began.  Buffy rolled her eyes in anger and hurt.  "And I know what I feel for you.  But I also know that I'm not as sweet as you think I am."

"I know you."  Buffy replied, her voice gaining confidence.  You might not think I know what I'm getting into, but I do.  I'm not some naïve child!"  Buffy screamed.  Spike cut her off.

"Damnit Buffy!  Listen to me!"  Spike screamed.  Buffy stared at him, her eyes wide with awe at the tone of voice Spike had used on her.  Buffy wasn't used to being spoken to that way.  Spike continued.  Needing desperately to explain himself to Buffy.  "I want you.  More than anything on this earth.  And I know that your more than a girl.  I know that you're a woman.  But I'm more than just a boy.  I'm more than just a man."  Spike paused.

            The vampire's eyes scanned the ocean.  The waves crashed to the shore in a rhythm more steady and comforting than any Spike had ever known.  The blonde sighed and closed his eyes briefly before turning back to Buffy.  "I have more demon in me than you can ever know."  Spike whispered, looking at Buffy through eyes clouded with fear and grief, but at the same time shining with love.

"Kiss me."  Buffy commanded.  
"Slayer…"  Spike began.  However, Buffy' s slender finger on his pale lips stopped him.

"No more lies."  Buffy whispered, before leaning up and kissing Spike.  Her mouth sliding sensually over his.  Spike broke off the kiss gently.

"Are you sure?"  He asked.  Buffy responded by kissing Spike once more.  This time, more fiercely and desperately, as she struggled to show him just how passionately she felt for him.

After making love sweetly and passionately in the sand, Buffy and Spike drifted off into a peaceful sleep.  Little did Spike know, the scoobies were getting closer and closer to discovering the truth about William the Bloody.

Teach me how I should forget to think

                      -Romeo from William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet


	12. Thin Line

            It was early in the morning.  Still, the small table in the Sunnydale library was filled.  Both Willow and Xander were busy researching William the Bloody, while Giles was making tea.

"The tea's ready."  Giles said, his voice resonating throughout the library.  Willow and Xander looked up from the heavy volumes they were reading an smiled at one another.  Both thinking how only Sunnydale's library would have a stove in the back office.  "Do you want any?"  Giles asked, coming into the main library from his office, already holding a cup of warm tea in his hand.

"No thanks G-man."  Giles said, waving Giles away.  Giles rolled his eyes, however, did not dignify Xander with a response.

"Willow?"  Giles asked.

"No thanks."  Willow replied.  "This reading is actually pretty exciting-"  Willow was cut off by Xander.

"To school obsessed people."  Giles smiled at this remark, thinking of Buffy and her distaste for research as well as her distaste for school.  However, Giles tried to clear all thoughts of Buffy.  Because thoughts of Buffy invariably led to thoughts, not only of the master vampire who was headed to kill her, but also of her weekend with Spike.

            Though Giles had not known Buffy for long, he already felt protective of her.  Giles almost considered Buffy his daughter.  Therefore, the thought of his "daughter" spending the weekend with a boy was not too appealing.  However, Joyce had seemed fine with it, and Giles knew that Buffy was a capable and intelligent young women, despite what the various principal's at school seemed to think.

"Giles?"  Willow asked tentatively, bringing the watcher back to reality.

"Yes."  Giles answered.

"We've looked through the books and made a pile of the ones that mention William the Bloody, but we still haven't read through them."  Xander said.

"Well I think that's enough for today.  Enjoy what's left of your Sunday, and I'll see you all after school tomorrow."  Giles said.

"Are you sure?"  Willow asked shyly.

"Yes Willow, but thank you for asking."  There was a short pause.

"See ya!"  Xander called back to Giles, already at the doors.  Willow followed, looking back only for a second before racing after Xander.  Giles turned his back, muttering about 'the teenagers of today' before picking up a book from the large pile Willow and Xander had made.  Setting his tea on the table Giles began to read.

            The minutes ticked by until Giles was disturbed by an insistent tap on the shoulder.  "Where's everyone?"  Cordelia asked impatiently, one hand on her hip, the other clutching an expensive purse.

"They left a few minutes ago."  Giles said.  He took of his glasses and pulled a hankerchief from his tweed coat.  "What's wrong?"

"Does something have to be wrong."  Cordelia asked, outraged.  "Maybe I just wanted to help Buffy, and the scoobies.  Maybe I just wanted to save the world.  Huh?  Think about that tweed man."  Cordelia nearly screamed.  Giles remained calm.

"So you want Willow to help you on your homework?"  Giles asked.

"Just history."  Cordelia explained.  Giles nodded, placing his glasses on the bridge of his nose once more.

"She and Xander are probably headed to the Bronze."  Giles guessed.  He turned back to his books, took a sip of his tea and then turned back once more.  Cordelia was still standing there.  
"May I help you?"  Giles asked, beginning to get impatient.

"Where's Buffy and her new beau?"  Cordelia asked.

"At the beach…still."  Giles replied.

"Oh.  I guess they're still having wild sex."  Cordelia replied nonchalantly.  Giles mind began racing.  He took another calming sip of tea and when he turned back to reprimand Cordelia on her desecration of the English language.  Only the swinging of the library doors left any trace that the cheerleader had ever been there.

ATTHEBEACHATTHEBEACHATTHEBEACHATTHEBEACH 

            Spike and Buffy were in fact, not having wild monkey sex.  They had moved to the beach house an hour before, to avoid getting caught in compromising positions by early morning joggers.

"Buffy."  Spike whispered.  His voice soft and his breath cool against Buffy's exposed neck.  The slayer's acknowledgment of his words was to bat him away with one hand.  Spike caught her hand in mid-air, smiling at her back.  "None of that love."  Spike admonished.

"I'm sleeping."  Buffy replied, getting slightly grouchy.  Spike noticed her slight mood change and began to take a different approach to wake her.

            Spike ran his cool hands under Buffy's tank top.  He palmed one of Buffy's breasts and smiled arrogantly as he heard the slayer attempt to stifle a moan.  "But there are so many things we could do if you were awake."  Spike whispered sensually, leaning close to her hear and nipping lightly at her shoulder.  Buffy rolled over, smiling at Spike.

"Why whatever are you talking about?"  Buffy asked, feigning innocence.

"A lovely walk on the beach….miniature golf……..or we could…stay in."  Spike suggested.  Buffy leaned up to kiss Spike.  However, the loud honking of a car horn broke the moon.  Spike murmured a long stream of obscenities under his breath, many of which Buffy had never heard before, when the car alarm began beeping loudly.

"Way to kill the mood."  Buffy grumbled, nodding in the direction where the car alarm seemed to be coming from.

"Don't you hate people like that."  Spike added.

"No."  Buffy replied, surprising Spike greatly.

"Huh?"

"I mean.  I've faced demons, and vampire's, and school bully's."  Buffy said.  Getting a smile from Spike at the last example.  But all of them come and go, and I know that something worse will come.  And until that thing comes along that's worse than all the other's.  I won't let myself hate.  No one I've met, nothing I've fought has been worth hating."

"Christ your amazing."  Spike said, looking down at Buffy in awe.  "Compared to me…compared to anyone, your like a saint."  Buffy's laughed.  The sound of her feminine giggle resonating through the beach house.

"I'm not that good a girl."  Buffy whispered after a moment, smiling as she raced an eyebrow mysteriously.

"Oh I know pet."  Spike replied, rolling onto Buffy and kissing her deeply.  Buffy smiled into the kiss, suddenly forgetting all problems in the world.

"Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time."  
Source Unknown  
  


*Please review!  I have almost no reviews!  Good, bad, whatever.  Just tell me what you think.  I know this chapter wasn't the most exciting and action packed one in the world.  I just want to set the stage for some clues coming up in the next chapter.*


	13. Gift Giving

            It was nice to be able to confide in Willow, Buffy realized, thinking back on the discussion she and Willow had just had, as she walked down the street and toward city hall.  For the past while, Buffy had been hiding the fact that Spike and she were dating.  She and Willow hadn't had much to talk about, as Buffy had to be careful to avoid topics that reminded her of Spike.  Which was just about everything.  Now, however, Buffy and Willow easily found the farmiliar rhythym of gossip.  Giggling and chatting for hours, Buffy had hated to leave.  However, she had a delivery to make.

            City hall gleamed against the setting afternoon sun.  Buffy entered the glass doors, a slight bounce in her step.

"May I speak to William Crawford?"  The slayer asked a middle aged security guard who sat behind a tall, mahogany desk, in City Hall lobby.  The man turned toward a computer and typed for a few seconds.

"No one named William Crawford works here."  The man said, looking at her in confusion.

"Are you sure."  Buffy asked, biting down on her lower lip in confusion.

"I checked twice."  The security guard said, clearly exasperated.  Buffy ignored the man's blatant lie.  Her confusion and worry overpowering it.  The slayer turned without a goodbye, leaving the guard mumbling something about "kids today"

            Outside Buffy looked around her at the busy streets, as if expecting to see Spike coming towards her.  It had only been a day since she had last seen him, since they had come home from the beach.  Still, Buffy worried about him.  The slayer glanced down at the parcel clutched in her hand.  Wrapped in silver paper with a silver bow tied on top, the package, when ripped away, would reveal a poetry book entitled _Great Poems of the 1800s_.  Buffy knew that Spike would love the book, he loved poetry of the 1800s, and his old book was ratty.  This one, was hardback, with thick pages and even a hand written message from her to him in the front cover.  It read:

_Dear William,_

_            For so long my life has been defined by what I do.  I've been a daughter, a student, a cheerleader, a girlfriend, a slayer.  My whole purpose in life changed according to what others needed.  When I was called as slayer I felt like my entire life was over.  Like my entire purpose for living was gone.  However, I adapted and began defining myself by what I did.  I killed.  I sought out demons and ended their existence.  I was a warrior, a killer.  Some called me a hero, but I knew I wasn't._

_            But I'm not a slayer.  You've shown me that.  I'm not anything.  I'm me.  Just me.  I'm not a girlfriend, a daughter, a student, cheerleader or girlfriend.  The more I change to become what people want me to become, the more of myself I lose.  And you've shown me that.  Through poetry readings and nights on the beach you've exposed my tender side.  Through sparring and patrolling you've exposed my warrior, and through your glances and kisses, every touch and look you send my way, you've exposed my heart.  You opened up all parts of me, allowing me to become Buffy Anne Summers, a women who doesn't change for anyone except herself._

_            Thank you for everything.  My dreams of the future are filled with you.  All my love._

_Truly Yours,_

_Buffy Anne Summers_

            Buffy continued walking away from city hall as she thought about what the note had said.  Filled with renewed hope she realized where her footsteps were taking her.  To the mansion.  Smiling Buffy began to quicken her pace to a slow jog.

            The sun was sinking low into the sky as she approached the mansion, yet Buffy's mind was as far as could be from her demons, vampire's, or the mother whom Buffy knew would be worried.  Instead, her mind was filled with only thoughts of Spike.

"Miss me?"  A familiar British voice asked.  Buffy turned to face Spike as his arms encircled her waist.

"I came to find you at city hall."  Buffy said, disappointed that she couldn't walk home from work with Spike, also finding it odd.  Though she shared much about her life, Spike would usually wait for her to ask a question before answering it.  However, he always did so completely, so she never questioned his honestly.

"Why would I be at city hall?"  Spike asked, realizing, not for the first time, what trouble leading a double life could be.  He sifted through memories, trying to figure out why the slayer would look for him at the town headquarters.

"You work there."  Buffy said, raising an eyebrow at Spike.  The vampire smiled, a lie forming in his mind.

"I thought I told you that they switched me to the mayor's other office.  A more private office just outside of town.  I start work tomorrow."  Spike lied.  Buffy studied him for a second, cocking her head to the side.  Spike's mind was racing, wondering if she believed him, praying that she did.  The vampire didn't think he could survive losing her.

"I wish you'd told me."  Buffy said.  "I have a gift I wanted to give you."  The petite slayer continued, this time a playful tone in her voice.  Spike smiled inwardly.  Mission accomplished.

"For me?"  Spike asked, glancing down at the package in the slayer's hands.  Buffy nodded.  However, as Spike grabbed for it she pulled it just out of his reach.  "Magic words."  Buffy commanded.

"Please."  Spike said, looking longingly at the gift.

"Nope."  Buffy replied with a shake of her head.

"Abra Cadabra."  Spike tried.  The slayer shook her head once more.  Spike paused for a second.  Then smirked.  "How about either give me that present or I'll take it from you."  Spike said, a come hither look in his eyes.

"You wanna' get your ass kicked?"  Buffy asked, dropping the present to the ground behind her.

"I'd love to see you try slayer."  Spike said.  The fight was on.

            The pair fought evenly.  Neither holding back.  Buffy was happy to spar with Spike.  She enjoyed fighting with someone whom she didn't need to hold back with, knowing that even though Spike insisted she was stronger than him, he was just being modest, as every time they had sparred before they had been evenly matched.

            Buffy blocked a series of punches before aiming a kick at Spike's midsection.  It connected, sending him to the ground.  However, the vampire quickly rolled out of it, grabbing the slayer behind her knee and sending her falling onto him.  Buffy erupted into a fit of giggles as Spike struggled to get up to no avail.

"What?"  The vampire asked angrily.

"Your duster….is caught…."  Buffy began between laughs.  Spike looked behind him to find that his duster had snagged on a tree branch.  Quickly unhooking it he raced toward where the slayer had thrown the gift.  Buffy stopped laughing and got up, walking over as Spike undid the ribbon hastily.  Paper was thrown to the ground and Spike paused, the title staring back at him.

"It's beautiful."  He whispered.  Buffy smiled shyly.  "No one's ever given me a gift this beautiful before."  Buffy was surprised, and for a moment she contemplated asking him why he was so entranced by the book.  However, she decided not to ruin the mood by prying.  Instead, she opened the cover and pointed to the inscription.

"I wrote a note."  Buffy explained as Spike began reading.  His lips moving slightly as he read each word.  When he got to the end he looked up at the slayer, who was kicking a stone, obviously embarrassed.  Spike wasted no time in grabbing her and kissing her softly but deeply.  Buffy leaned into the kiss, all worries about where Spike was this afternoon fading away…for now….

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive?  
  
Love is everything it's cracked up to be.   
That's why people are so cynical about it.   
It really is worth fighting for,  
Being brave for,  
Risking everything for.  
  
And the trouble is,  
If you don't risk anything,  
You risk even more.


	14. Moments

**Takes place directly after the last chapter**

            "I like this."  Buffy announced, lifting her head from Spike's shoulder and staring straight into his eyes.

"What?"  Spike asked, tilting his head slightly as Buffy studied his face.  The slayer didn't reply for a moment.  Her breathing became light and a small sigh escaped her lips.  Buffy brushed a lock of hair back onto Spike's head and then rest her head against his shoulder once more.

"I like this part where we get to sit together."  Buffy said.

"Really?"  Spike asked, smiling at Buffy.  "Because I was under the impression that you liked another part best."  Spike continued, whispering the last sentence in Buffy's ear and watching as she shivered slightly and her face turned bright pink in embarrassment. 

            Spike savored moments like these.  Moments when Buffy was just a girl, and he, just a man.  Not a vampire, or slayer, but a man and a women that he loved.  He could almost pretend that all the lies he had told the slayer were true.  Sometimes he would catch himself thinking about what it would be like to honestly be 19.  To work for the mayor, and pick Buffy up after school.  Not to feel his eyes widen with fear at the thought of Buffy going to find him at work, only to find out he didn't work there.  Spike knew the slayer would get suspicious if anything else happened that she was unprepared for.  As a slayer, she was prone to think the natural was supernatural.  And though Spike knew that's what kept her alive.  He was also afraid it would lead her to discover the truth.  A truth of blood, violence and death.  No, that couldn't happen.  Besides, Spike much preferred this truth.  A truth where Buffy lay her head on his shoulder in complete trust, and where Spike was nothing more, and nothing less, than the man she blessed with her trust.

"Read me a poem."  Buffy requested with a yawn.  Spike nodded, reaching over to where the gift Buffy had given him lay on the ground.  Spike flipped randomly to a page and skimmed it.  Recognizing a poem he liked, the vampire cleared his throat and began to recite.

Buffy smiled, more at the sound of Spike's voice than the words of the poem.  His calming, often sensual British accent rolled of his tongue, and it was as if every word of the poem was meant for Buffy.  Everything about Spike was perfect.  He could make her feel everything and anything with only a glance.  One look was all it took to make Buffy's body burn with embaressment.  And another look, at it made for her body to burn with desire.  Every touch, every accidental brush of the hand made her forget her inhibitions and feel like a women, strong and powerful.  Not a young girl, struggling with life's problems.  The only other thing that had ever made her feel as confident as Spike did was slaying.  When she was slaying she felt like she belonged.  Like she was doing what she was created for.  And with Spike, it was an even stronger sense of belonging.  Like wherever she was, whatever she was doing was exactly what she was supposed to be doing, and where she was supposed to be doing it.  With Spike, everything was exactly right.

Spike finished reading the poem he had picked out and watched Buffy as she began to drift off into sleep.  Slipping into game face for a moment Spike sighed in disappointment.  He could almost have sworn that he was no longer a demon.  Feeling the ridges on his forehead Spike sliped back into his human face, kissing the slayer's head softly, and dreading the time when she would have to leave him and go back home.

A few minutes passed and Spike gently shook Buffy from her slumber.

"What?"  Buffy groaned.

"You have to go home pet."  Spike cooed softly, wishing that he could come up with some reason for her to stay, make night last just a bit longer.  Fingering the magic necklace he wore Spike sighed as Buffy stood and stretched.  The necklace was supposed to keep him safe in the sun.  So why did Spike find himself only walking in once world, the world of the night?

            "Wanna' come over tomorrow night?"  Buffy asked, shaking Spike from his thoughts.

"Your mom probably won't like it."  Spike reminded Buffy, though inside he was jumping up and down with glee.

"Mom's leaving town for a few days tomorrow morning."  Buffy said, biting her lip to keep from laughing as she watched Spike's eyes light up.  "I thought you could come over.  And maybe in the morning you could come to school with me.  Our school lets visitors spend a day."  Buffy explained.  Spike leapt from the ground where he was sitting and pulled Buffy into a kiss.

            The slayer leaned into the kiss, moaning softly as Spike's kisses made their way down her neck.  When he reached the base of her neck Spike stopped at the small scar that was their.  Spike had noticed it before.  However, he had always been too preoccupied with……other things, to ask about it.  It looked like a vampire bite.  Spike thought to himself.  However, he shook that thought from his head when Buffy moaned at the feel of his cool breath against her neck.  Spike licked the rim of her ear.  "Tomorrow night."  He whispered.  Buffy moaned in excitement and placed a firm kiss on Spike's lips before turning and leaving the mansion, heading back to her house.

            Spike slipped into game face once more as he watched her go.

"Yup.  Still a demon."  He whispered softly.  "Still a demon."

"You know you're in love when you feel like your heart's been ripped out and stepped on……and you don't care."

-Tuesday Girl


	15. Silk Sheets

            After fifteen movies, 21 CD's, and thirteen hours of shopping, Spike had arrived, prepared.  He was finally ready.  Ready to sweep Buffy off her feet.  Spike had felt the past day gathering supplies and ideas for how to surprise Buffy.  She had given him a gift, and he wasn't just talking about the book of poetry.  The slayer had given Spike a gift that he couldn't even name.  A gift more powerful than anything he had ever experienced.  And now it was her turn to be romanced.

            After Buffy had left the mansion last night Spike had gone to Sunnydale's one and only video rental store, where he had picked out 15 chick flicks, movies that he was sure would have great ideas for pleasing the slayer.  However, most of the movies led him in circle's.  It seemed that all the men in them, had ideas for romancing their girlfriends that were simply impossible to actualize.  However, Spike was not a vampire known for giving up.  So his next stop was a CD store, where he purchased all the CD's that he thought might contain romantic, mood setting songs.  Then Spike compiled a mix.  His work didn't stop there, though.  Spike went shopping, and purchased candles, and red silk sheets.  Roses and a beautiful necklace also filled his shopping bag.  Then, Spike waited.  That was probably his least favorite part of the plan.  As tiring and embarrassing as the day had been, he'd been occupied.  However, in the short amount of time when he was waiting, Spike managed to become sufficiently worried.  Would the slayer like his idea?  Would she laugh at him?  Would she somehow come down with chicken pox at the last moment (even though he knew she'd already had them), he'd contract them, (even though he was a vampire), and they'd both die?

            The bleached blonde vampire shook his head to clear those thoughts from his head.  He didn't have time to worry.  Buffy had just left her house to patrol, she was going to meet Spike back in the house in an hour.  That didn't leave much time.  Not to prepare what Spike had planned.

Timehaspassedtimehaspassedtimehaspassedtimehaspassed

            Buffy opened the door to her house tentatively.  For some reason she couldn't shake the feeling that her mother would jump out of nowhere.  However, when Buffy saw that the living room was deserted she breathed a sigh of relief, and headed up to her bedroom, planning to take a short shower and then pace in front of the door waiting impatiently for Spike.  However, Buffy stopped, her mouth open and eyes wide when she entered her bedroom.

            It was perfect, more than perfect.  Prince Charming and Cinderella had nothing on them.  Spike had gone all out, that much was obvious, and it had been well worth, the hour and three quarters of patrolling.  Definitely worth it if Spike had used that time to do this.  The bed was covered, not in Buffy's usual girlish sheets, but in red silk.  And the floor was covered in rose petals.  Completely covered.  Buffy slipped her shoes of and tentatively stepped onto the rose petals, closing her eyes in pleasure as the feel of the soft petals came in contact with her tender skin.  Walking slowly, she headed closer and closer to the bed, where Spike sat.

            The vampire looked better than ever, if that was even possible.  He wore tight, black leather pants, and no shirt.  With the light of the many candles that were lit, surrounding the room, his pale chest looked like moonlight was reflecting upon it.  His bleached blonde hair appeared a magical white and the look of pure lust on his alone, was enough to drive Buffy wild.

            "What are you staring at slayer?"  Spike drawled sexily, not moving from where he lay.

"You."  Buffy answered, unashamed, her gaze not wandering from Spike's tight abs.  Spike smirked.  Buffy was usually fairly shy at time like this, time when Spike confronted her.  Her normally outgoing personality faded away to reveal a shy, young high school girl.  But not tonight.  Tonight Buffy was confident, and strong, and Spike could see the predatory glint in her eyes that told him without words that the slayer would be taking what she wanted.

            Buffy had paused at the foot of the bed, so Spike motioned with one finger for her to come join him on the bed.  Buffy obliged willingly, crawling up onto the silken sheets and leaning toward Spike, who pulled her impatiently toward him.  The vampire then flipped the petite blonde.  Pulling off the straps of the slayer's tank top, slowly, Spike began speaking to Buffy in a hushed, sexy voice.

"Last night you gave me a gift"  Spike whispered, motioning for Buffy to raise her arms in the air so Spike could remove her tank top.  The slayer obliged.  "Tonight.  I'll give you a gift."  Spike whispered, leaving the slayer's skimpy black bra on, and instead, concentrating on her lower body.  Removing her jeans slowly and tenderly Spike continued talking.  "You gave me a poetry book, so that I could read of love and devotion, or pain and sorrow, happiness and pleasure."  Spike stared at Buffy, who was now naked except for her black bra and black underwear.  Turning Buffy on her back Spike took in his breath sharply as Buffy's hair fell from the loose bun it was in and cascaded down her back, shining with the light of the vanilla scented candles.  Silent for a moment, Spike leaned in toward Buffy and nipped lightly at her shoulder blades, causing the slayer to suppress a moan.  Then, the vampire gently unbuckled Buffy's bra, and placed it in the back pocket of his jeans.  Minutes later the feeling of Spike's cool hands on the slayer's back let Buffy know that she was being given a back massage.

"Nice."  Buffy moaned.  Spike growled slightly.

"Just nice?"  He asked, offended.

"Very nice."  Buffy reassured him.  However, Spike was not satisfied.  The evening was supposed to be perfect, and Buffy was supposed to be left incapable of speech, and if not, defiantly saying more than just, "very nice."

            Spike flipped the slayer onto her back and removed her black underwear.  Taking a moment to stare at her, Spike admired her figure.  So beautiful, but so deadly.  He finally understood the lure of the tree of knowledge, in the Garden of Eden.  The idea of something forbidden was enticing, but his love for Buffy was so much more than that.  Because in this case, the forbidden fruit happened to be the most perfect goddess he'd ever met in his entire un-life.

Spike kissed Buffy's lips deeply before lying her flat onto the bed and making love to her, bringing them both to heights of pleasure neither had experienced before.  And as they drifted off to sleep, Spike spooned against the slayer he had one coherent thought.  I'll tell her tomorrow, he assured himself.  I'll tell her tomorrow.  However, Spike had the sinking suspicion that he wouldn't be able to bring himself to tell her anytime soon.

"Being in love is what makes working all week bearable. It makes cruising with your windows rolled down feel like you're riding in a convertible. It makes you dance to the rythm of the copy machine and makes Friday night really feel like THE WEEKEND."  
Julie Hintz

*Next chapter Buffy finds out….finally! (Don't worry people, it's not THAT terrible.)  Also, I just re-watched the episode before the Buffy season finale, whatever it was called.  Was anyone else completely freaked out when Willow said "Bored now."  Sorry, I just had to share that with someone.  That's all I could think about tonight!*


	16. School

            She didn't want to wake him.  Didn't want to see the peaceful look wiped off his face.  But she had to.  So Buffy gently shook Spike awake.  He moaned when his cool arms felt Buffy's soft fingers dancing upon them.

"I could think of better ways to be awoken."  Spike said, opening one eye and glancing at Buffy.  She looked perfect.  Though Spike felt that he was a little biased, considering Buffy was wearing well….nothing.

"What?"  Buffy asked, growing confused and embarrassed at the way Spike was looking at her.

"You're beautiful.  You know that, right?"  Spike asked.

"Yeah."  Buffy answered, tilting her head slightly to the side.

"You're beautiful."  Spike repeated.

"You just said that."  Buffy replied, confused.

"No.  This has nothing to do with mirrors, or with love.  I'm telling you your beautiful.  This is so much more than anything we could possibly share."  Spike said.

"Is something wrong?"  Buffy asked, placing a warm hand on Spike's forehead.  Spike sat up on his elbows and then all the way up.  Taking Buffy's face gently in his hands he brought it within inches of his own.

"Your beautiful."  Spike repeated.  Buffy nodded, for the first time getting it.

"I'm beautiful."  She repeated.  Spike nodded, satisfied, and changed the mood from serious to lighthearted.

"Now beautiful, tell me why you woke me at this ungodly hour of the morning?"  Spike asked, mock scowling.

"School."  Buffy responded.  At Spike's blank look she continued.  "Your going to school with me.  Remember."

"I remember…or would if I'd have a decent amount of sleep."  Spike groaned, falling back onto the bed and covering his head with a pillow.  Spike knew he was acting like a teenager, not a master vampire.  But he couldn't help it.

"You need to get up."  Buffy commanded, slightly more sternly.  Spike groaned in response.  Buffy decided to try to get Spike out of bed a different way.

"Spike."  She whispered, leaning over the vampire's ear.  "I still need to shower."

"So.  Go do that and let me sleep."  Spike suggested, his face still buried beneath a pillow.

"The problem is.  There are some parts of me that are hard to wash."  Buffy said, raising the pitch of her voice to sound more coy.  Spike took the pillow from his head, looking at Buffy.

"What can I do?"  Spike asked.

"Maybe if you could just…"  Buffy trailed off and brought Spike's hands to her chest.  The slayer ran them over her breasts and then down to her womanhood.  "…help."

            Buffy could barely blink and Spike had already hopped out of bed and grabbed her hand, pulling her toward the bathroom.  However, he stopped abruptly in front of the door.

"This is all wrong."  Spike said.  Buffy looked at him questioningly.  However, Spike didn't need to respond.  All it took were some simple actions.  Spike lifted the naked slayer off her feet and carried her, honeymoon style, across the bathroom threshold, placing her in the shower.  Buffy giggled happily and allowed Spike to lead her into the shower.  Where they washed….many times.

At School

            Buffy and Spike took seats seconds before Biology class started.  Though they had taken biology last year.  Sunnydale insisted upon teaching it twice.  Probably because they had extra biology textbooks and not enough funding.  The teacher began lecturing.

"The praying mantis is a fascinating creature."  She began.  Buffy, Willow and Cordelia turned to Xander, who sat, hiding behind his textbook, red faced.  Spike looked questioningly at Buffy who leaned over and whispered in his ear.  However, she had not gotten very far in the story, when her teacher spotted she and Spike talking.

"Miss Summers.  Do you have a…"  The teacher stopped talking and stared at Spike.  Buffy reached into her pocket, preparing to take out the note that gave permission for Spike to attend classes with Buffy.  However, the teacher ignored Buffy's outstretched hand that contained the note.

"Who's this?"  She asked.  Her voice becoming higher pitched as she spoke.

"Spike."  The vampire replied, sensing something was up with the teacher.  The teacher, Miss Ramano walked over and stood in front of the desk Spike occupied.  While standing in front of it she 'accidentally' dropped her pen.  Ignoring Spike's offers to retrieve it for her.  The teacher bent down and retrieved the pen, pausing for a moment as she grasped the pen, her legs straight, her shirt falling down slightly.  Spike turned back to Buffy who was looking at the teacher in disgust.  Xander laughed loudly and Spike resisted the urge to flash some fang at him, and instead, settled for a piercing glare.  Xander shut up quickly, but not before sticing his tongue at Spike, childishly.

            Miss Ramano finally stood up.  "Spike's an interesting name?"  She said, trying to start a conversation.  However, Buffy cut in, saving Spike, who she could see was going to start being mean.

"So…the praying mantis.  That's interesting stuff."  The slayer said.  Spike held back a snicker.

"What about the praying mantis Miss Summer's?"  The teacher asked.  Willow cut in.

"Everying Miss Ramano.  Gosh.  Preying Mantis is one heck of a bug.  I mean, did you know that the praying mantis is helpful in gardens?  And did you know…"  Willow was cut off by Miss Ramano.

"I get the picture Miss Rosenburgh."  Miss Ramano said.

"Good."  Buffy replied, relieved that Miss Ramano had taken a hint.  However, she was appalled when Miss Ramano proceeded to write her phone number and name on a piece of paper and indescretely slip is to Spike.  Then, walk to the front of the class and continue with the lecture as if she had not just hit on a nineteen year old.  Spike smiled at Buffy, rolling his eyes as he tore up the phone number.  Buffy smiled back and returned her attention to the lecture, allowing the words to roll over her unheeded as Spike's hands rubbing her lower back took her full attention.  Yup.  She could definitely get use to a biology class that ended this way.

"Love is when the woman of your dreams becomes a reality and sleep stops being a priority."  
Source Unknown  
  



	17. Sweaty Palms

Part 17:

  
"Where to now?" Spike asked. The pair was walking through the school halls after a class bell had just wrung.  
  
"Lunch." Buffy said. Spike smiled and took hold of the slayers hand. Buffy weaved her fingers through Spike's and sighed. When the pair entered the cafeteria most eyes turned. Though many of the students had already seen Spike and Buffy together, many had not. Spike watched, grinning cockily, as most female heads turned his way. However, when a few of the male heads also turned, obviously looking at Buffy in all her mini skirt, belly shirt glory, Spike growled slightly. However, Buffy ignored everything that was happening and pulled Spike toward a table where her friends already sat. Willow smiled and she and Buffy began chatting. Spike listened with half an ear.  
  
"So. You think he likes me?" Willow asked.  
  
"Definitely." Buffy responded. The girls leaned closer to one another. "I don't know much about him. All I found out from visiting the girls bathroom was that he's a senior, he plays guitar for a band…I forget the name, and everyone calls him Oz."  
  
"He makes my palms sweat." Willow said, an excited gleam lighting up her eyes.  
  
"I know what you mean." Buffy said, turning to Spike and placing a kiss on his forehead.  
  
"Break it up!" A familiar voice yelled. Buffy and Spike felt small hands pushing them apart, only moments later.  
  
"Principal Snyder, I…" Buffy began, however Snyder cut her off.  
  
"This is not an orgy people. I'm watching you Summer's. You and…" Principal Snyder trailed off and looked strait into Spike's eyes, unflinching. However, Spike didn't like principal Snyder very much. On occasion, Buffy had talked about the principal, and Spike had learned that Snydar was a rude bastard, with no respect for Buffy, or the work she did. Spike had been around a long time, and he was pretty good at reading people. Snydar definitely gave him a bad feeling. Therefore, Spike stared strait into Principal Snydar's eyes, and when no one was watching, flashed his game face. Snydar stuttered something about a staff meeting, and left quickly.  
  
"What did you do?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Just showed the bastard who he'd be dealing with if he messed with you." Spike said, his voice confident and proud.  
  
"I can take care of myself." Buffy said, her eyes narrowing slightly.  
  
"I know love." Spike said, not wanting to start an argument with the slayer. "I just like getting to protect you from time to time. Besides, you can't slay principal's."  
  
"But it would be fun." Willow added quickly. Buffy smiled at that and the two girls continued their discussion. Spike turned to Xander who was staring at him like he was the devil himself.  
  
"What is it boy?" Spike asked. The vampire couldn't help but act like master vampire when talking to Xander. Call it male ego, but Spike didn't like the idea that Xander, who always seemed to be looking at Buffy in a way that made it seem like they were more than just friends, was always hanging around.  
  
"Buffy has a lot of people who love her." Xander said.  
  
"I know. I count myself among them."  
  
"If you hurt her. I'll hurt you." Xander said.  
  
"I'd like to see you try." Spike said, looking Xander strait in the eye.  
  
"Try what?" Buffy asked, cutting into the conversation.  
  
"Nothing love." Spike said.  
  
"Yeah Buffster, just guy talk. You know, football, women…" Xander stopped when Buffy hit Spike lightly on the arm.  
  
"Hey!" Spike protested. "I was simply saying how other woman don't hold a candle to you love." Buffy smiled at that comment and when she turned to Xander, he was also smiling slightly.  
  
Xander liked Spike. They weren't best friends, and you definitely couldn't tell by the way he acted, But Xander liked him. Angel always made Buffy cry. With Spike, Buffy always seemed happy. She smiled more and laughed at his jokes. And certainly he loved her, but what he was learning he loved most about her was the way she acted when with Spike. Besides, there were other fish in the sea. And Xander couldn't stop thinking that Cordelia was looking pretty nice today…  
  
"So, the school day is over." Spike said.  
  
"Yup." Buffy replied.  
  
"So. I thought, if you don't have plans. We could go back to your place, and…get our money's worth out of the silk sheets." Spike finished in a whisper. Buffy shivered in anticipation.  
  
"That sounds nice." Buffy answered. However, at that moment Giles came down the hall.  
  
"Buffy. Excellent. I was afraid that you and William had left." Giles said, smiling brightly. Buffy groaned.  
  
"What is it Giles. End of the world?" Buffy asked, keeping a strait face.  
  
"Ha, ha, ha." Giles said, clearly not amused. "Actually, I just thought we could train for a bit."  
  
"I guess I should." Buffy said, turning to Spike with a look of apology on her face. "I know that you said there was a demon coming."  
  
"What demon?" Spike asked, worried. Though he knew the slayer could handle herself, he didn't like the thought of any demon that she and her watcher wold be worried about, getting near her.  
  
"Some master vampire named William the Bloody." Buffy said flippantly. Spike's eyes widened.  
  
"How do you know?" Spike asked, worried. From stories Buffy had told the scoobies seemed to always find what they were looking for. Of course, Spike was glad of that fact, he knew it was what kept Buffy alive. However, he was also slightly worried that they would discover him. But it wasn't time yet, he couldn't tell Buffy, he couldn't risk losing her, not yet.  
  
"A friend told me." Buffy said, not ready to talk about Angel.  
  
"Oh." Spike said. "Well, you have to train, I'll meet you at the mansion later tonight. Right?"  
  
"Sure." Buffy responded. Then, leaning up and whispering in Spike ear the petite blonde said, "clean up my room for me? I don't want mom finding it."  
  
"Sure." Spike responded. "You train, I'll clean, then meet me at the mansion and we can patrol together." Buffy smiled and went into the library with Giles. Spike headed out of school and toward Buffy's home, trying not to think too much on what would happen if he told Buffy he was a vampire, if he told her he had lied to her. One think was for sure things were going to get very interesting…  
  
"So I'm done?" Buffy asked eagerly.  
  
"That's all for today." Giles said, smiling as Buffy ran to the bathroom to change back from her training clothes to her school clothes. When she returned the blonde grabbed her bag off the table, waved and headed to the door. However, Giles stopped her.  
  
"Actually, wait one moment." Giles said. "I've been going through as many books as I could find on our mysterious William the Bloody. However, I haven't been able to find much on him. I think these last few books will prove more fruitful."  
  
"And you want me to be research gal?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Just take one with you and look through it please." Giles said.  
  
"Good!" Buffy said, happy not to have to stay at school and research. Giles smiled and said goodbye to Buffy. In all honesty he had wanted her to stay and research with him. However, seeing Buffy and Spike together made him happy. Buffy looked so happy, when she was with Spike she didn't seem to feel the burden of her sacred duty. Giles watched the swinging doors of the library until they stopped moving and then sat down and continued his research. His sayer was happy, and Spike seemed like a good guy. Things were finally falling into place. Giles was sure whatever demon was heading their way would be no problem. Things were finally falling into place…  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"No one can ever promise you they will never hurt you, because at one time or another it will happen. The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end."  
  
-anonymous


	18. Those 3 Words

Part 18:

  
Buffy looked down with disbelief at the page in front of her. The musty old book that Giles had given her from the library spoke about demons, vampire's, werewolves, and all sorts of other mystical creatures. But what Buffy didn't expect was the information she found on William the Bloody. Earlier conversations came flowing back to her.  
  
* No more lies." Buffy said as she snuggled into Spike's protective embrace. "No more lies." Spike whispered*  
  
Buffy raised her face to the sky as tears dripped down her face and onto the pages The ink ran slightly, but Buffy didn't care, she began to sniffle softly, holding back the sobs that threatened to come.  
  
"Buffy? Slayer?" Spike asked, coming out into the courtyard of the mansion. "What's wrong?" Spike asked, when he noticed the slayer's glossed over eyes. Spike fully expected Buffy to rush into his arms, to allow him to comfort her and protect her. However, the slayer stayed seated, not even looking at Spike. After a moment of pulling herself together, Buffy looked strait into his eyes.  
  
"When were going to tell me?" Buffy asked.  
  
"What?" Spike asked, is voice slightly breathy in disbelief.  
  
"I have the proof right here. Giles gave me a book. I didn't know how valuable it's information was."  
  
"Give me that book." Spike commanded, needing to see it, to find some way to tell her it wasn't true.  
  
"Over my dead body." Buffy ground at. "Though that shouldn't be a problem for you." Buffy added, moving from her seated position, to standing.  
  
"Buffy, what does it say love? What's going on?"  
  
"William the bloody, known as Spike. Spike has earned his nickname by torturing his victims with railroad Spike's. Spike has fought two slayer's in the last century. And, he's killed them both." Buffy read, her voice clear, it's gentle but angry tone echoing in Spike's ears. "So when we're you going to do it?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Slayer, you need to listen to me." Spike pleaded, his eyes begging an audience with her.  
  
"So what? You can reveal your master plan before you drain me!" Buffy screamed at him.  
  
"I love you!" Spike screamed. Buffy held up a hand, signaling for him to stop talking. She closed her eyes, not speaking for a moment.  
  
"I hate you." She whispered.  
  
"But you said that you didn't hate people. You said that-" Spike was cut off.  
  
"I have never met someone that I hated. I never believed that it could get worse. But I hate you. I refuse to live in a world where someone out there is worse than you." Buffy ground out angrily. "No more lies, remember. But I didn't realize that the one person that I've felt this way about was lying right as he said that!"  
  
"If you let me explain…" Spike began.  
  
"Fine." Buffy said.  
  
"Fine?" Spike asked, obviously not expecting that answer.  
  
"Talk to me. Tell me that this is all some terrible mistake. That Spike is just a nickname because your name is William, and his name is William, and maybe, this is some horrible mistake." Buffy paused, taking a deep breath. "Tell me!" She begged.  
  
"I love you. You know me better than anyone in the entire world." Spike said.  
  
"I don't love you. I love the man who wrote poetry, I love the man who held me close and kissed me so sweetly. I loved the man who covered my floor in rose petals. The man who I loved, never existed!"  
  
"It is me! I'm that man."  
  
"The man I loved, never existed." Buffy repeated.  
  
"I'm so sorry." Spike whispered, feeling tears welling up in his eyes.  
  
"You think your sorry now, wait and see how sorry you'll be when you realized I just walked out that door and I'm not coming back." Buffy said, tears flowing freely down her face. Buffy picked the book off the ground and began running. Strait past Spike she ran until her sops had grown so violent she couldn't breathe. The petite slayer found herself in front of the library. Rushing in she ran passed the swinging library doors and came face to face with Giles, who was still researching. Giles didn't look up, he just began talking.  
  
"Buffy." He said. "I think I found some information about our mysterious William the Bloody. It's bad, but…" Giles trailed off when he looked up at Buffy for the first time. "Good heavens. What's wrong?" Giles asked.  
  
"Spike…" Buffy said. "Spike's a vampire. He'd William the Bloody." Buffy managed to get out in between sobs, before collapsing into Giles arms. Giles pulled his slayer close. He held her as she sobbed, her tears falling on his tweed suit. When Buffy had calmed down Giles took her home. Buffy snuck in her window and fell asleep quickly, Joyce didn't even notice that Buffy had been gone, she was already asleep, tired from her trip. Giles climbed out the window the way he came and headed to find Angel. Spike would die. He wouldn't get a chance to kill Buffy. He'd hurt her enough already.  
  
Spike lay on a cot in the mansion, staring up at the ceiling as he tried to think about what to do, what he could have done. ALl those times he could have told her. Buffy was a unique slayer, she had family and friends, Spike could have talked to her, she might have been just unique enough to accept him, to love him. Spike was pulled from his thoughts when a booming voice spoke. Spike looked up and found himself staring into Mercaptil's, the demon who sent him, eyes.  
  
"What do you want?" Spike asked, his voice laced in pain.  
  
"I can feel it. The pain. Seeping into your soul. Burning at you. I can make it stop." Mercaptil said.  
  
"What are you talkin' bout?" Spike asked.  
  
"Your dark goddess. I know you feel responsible for her death. I can bring her back to you. You don't have a chance with the slayer anyway, it is best this way. I can bring your love back. I can bring Drucillia back." Mercaptil promised. Spike closed his eyes, not speaking. Suddenly he spoke the words that would change everything.  
  
"Do it." He whispered. And it was done.  
  
  
  
  
  
  


You are the reason I can't sleep…  
  
Learn the real meaning of those 3 words you used  
  
Don't think that you can come back  
  
I don't love you  
  
Just the image of yourself that you wanted me to see  
  
It doesn't exist  
  
Neither do you in my eyes…  
  
-unknown


	19. Beacon

            Spike had a dream that night.  He dreamed of Drusillia, of Prague, of what had happened.  Spike was running, in front of him he could see an angry mob, armed with pitchforks, crosses and torches.  "Drusillia!  Dru!"  Spike screamed, panicked.  However, he could see her, approaching the mob, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"My Spike."  Drusillia said, turning back to Spike and speaking to him, knowing that his vampire hearing would allow him to understand what she was saying.  "I must be near the pretty fire."

"Dru!  No!"  Spike screamed, approaching the mob.  However, it was too late.  An angry man had thrust the fiery edge of the torch into her stomach, and the entire mob was watching in morbid fascination as she went up in flames.

"Oh god no."  Spike whispered, kneeling in front of the pile of ashes that was all that remained of Drusillia.  She hadn't even screamed, hadn't even cried out in pain.  She had instead, simply reached through her mind and called to Spike.  "The flames are so warm, they're so pretty.  They dance for me my sweet William.  They dance for me like the daisies in the valley."  Spike's face changed to reveal his demon…

            Spike awoke with a start, his unnecessary breath came in small gasps.  The vampire remembered what had come next, he had killed them.  All of them.  And not only the mob, but their families and friends.  It was the greatest, most bloody vampire massacre in the entire history of demons.  Spike had left the entire town in ruins.  He had drained everyone in the town, and after that, set fire to the church.  Two days later, when Spike returned, the entire town was burnt to the ground.

            Mercaptil had told Spike he would dream of Drusillia, that his dream would be the sign that the spell was working.  However, Spike had just realized something.  This was no dream, this was the past.  There was a difference.  Dreams…dreams were things that Spike shared with Buffy.  Dreams were hopes of the future, and reflections of the past.  What Spike had just gone through was the past.  Drusillia was his past.  Buffy, the slayer was his future.  Spike needed to make sure that the spell was stopped.  He didn't want Drusillia back.  He wanted Buffy.  Spike was persistent, confident, often arrogant.  But more than that, he was a dreamer.  And he would make sure that his dreams of Buffy understanding him, his dreams of he and Buffy together again, with no more lies, became a reality.

"Well I'll be damned," Spike whispered.  "After two hundred some years of being alive, I think I'm finally maturing…"

            Buffy fumbled blindly around for the phone.  She groaned as she picked it up.  "Hello."

"Hey sweetie."  Buffy's mother's familiar voice said.

"Hi mom."  Buffy whispered into the phone, moving herself into a sitting position.

"How are you holding up?"  Her mother asked.  "I spoke to Mr. Giles and he suggested I let you sleep today.  He said you didn't feel well last night when you two were studying"

"I'm…" Buffy's voice trailed off as the past night's events came back to her.  It hurt so badly.  "I'm okay."  Buffy finished, biting her lip as she tried to hold back tears.

"Honey, if you want I can come back home."  Joyce suggested.

"I have to go."  Buffy whispered.  "Bye."  The slayer hung up without giving her mother a chance to respond.

            Buffy didn't think she had any more tears to cry.  However, as soon as the phone was hung up, the slayer allowed tears to flow freely down her face.  Her hazel eyes glossed over and she let out sobs, strong sobs that wracked her entire body.  However, Buffy didn't have time to fully cry before the phone rang once more.

"Hello."  Buffy whispered into the receiver.

"Hey Buffy."  Willow said perkily.

"Hey Will."

"Giles told me…what happened.  Are you okay?"  Willow asked.  However, before Buffy had a chance to respond she spoke again.  "Sorry, stupid question."

"I don't know Willow.  I honestly don't know how I feel.  Right now it hurts so badly, but there's another part of me that feels numb.  I feel like it'll only get worse.  Oh Willow"  Buffy began sobbing, "I feel like I'll die."

"Oh Buffy.  Do you want me to come over?"  Willow asked.  "It's lunch right now, and after that all I have is one period.  I can come over after school."  Willow suggested.

"No.  I'm okay.  Thanks though."  Buffy said.

"If your sure."  Willow said, obviously not wanting to leave Buffy alone all night.

"I'll live."  Buffy whispered.  The two hung up.  Buffy allowed sobs to once again form in her throat.  The slayer fell asleep crying.

            "Spike."  Willow whispered.  The redhead had skipped her lunch hour and gone to the mansion, where Buffy said she and Spike often went to be alone.

"Buffy?"  Spike asked hopefully, coming out of the room where he had been sleeping.  Spike's shirt was off and his hair was not in it's usual slicked back, instead it flowed more freely.

"It's me."  Willow said as Spike rubbed his eyes and looked upon her.

"Does slayer know your here?"  Spike asked, it was the first thing that crossed his mind, the idea that the slayer may have sent Willow, her best friend to talk for her.

"No."  Willow replied.  And Spike's hope was crushed.

"What are you doing here then?"  Spike asked, his voice soft yet warning.

"Buffy told us all what happened.  We all know."  Willow said.

"So what then.  Come here to kill me?"  Spike asked.  "Have a piece of wood nearby with my name on it."

"Giles and Xander will stake you.  I know they're planning something."  Willow said.

"And you think they'll kill me."  Spike said.  "I'm stronger than you could imagine little girl."  Spike said, his voice hard and cold.  However, Willow saw his sadness.  "Or are you worried that maybe I'll kill them?"  Spike asked.

"You won't kill them."  Willow said confidently.

"Why not?"  Spike asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Because you still love Buffy.  That's why your not killing her now, and it's why you never planned on killing her."  Willow said.

"It's true.  But she'll never believe me."  Spike said, speaking to himself more than willow.  "She's everything to me.  She's my dream.  But she's more amazing because she's real.  It's like my entire life I thought dreams were something to hope for, to wish for but never achieve, the way you can never catch the horizon, no matter how hard you run.  But she's here, and she's real, and I lost her.  I feel like the sky just faded away.  I feel like there is no horizon.  I feel like the world has ended."  Spike finished in a whisper.

"If I get her here, will you talk?  Will you promise not to hurt her?"  Willow asked.

"I love her.  I will do anything for her.  And I will never, ever hurt her."  Spike said, staring Willow strait in the eyes and speaking sincerely.  Willow nodded before turning to leave.  However, Spike spoke as she reached the door.

"You're a good friend red.  No matter what happens between the slayer and I.  I know I don't deserve her, or her forgiveness.  You know it too.  But you also know that she's in pain, and you've come to me to try and help her.  She's lucky to have you."  Spike said, finishing in a whisper.

"Just don't let me down Spike."  Willow said.  "And I'll see what I can do."

"Who shall say that the maiden so pretty and fair shall always have the greater man; and the ogre who walks to the beat of thundering clouds will never find her prince?"  
Source Unknown

*There it is folks.  Your beacon of light.  Hope you enjoyed!  Reviews please.  Oh, and I'm talking about long involved reviews filled with both good AND bad.  Sorry to be picky, just that I need constructive critisism.*


	20. Tissues and Chocolate

Part 20:

  
"I came over anyway." Willow explained, as a red eyed Buffy opened the door to her home and found Willow there, armed with tissues and cookies.  
  
"I'm glad." Buffy admitted honestly. The pair went upstairs and sat on Buffy's bed.  
  
"Want some chocolate chip cookies?" Willow asked. "Good for the heart and good for the soul."  
  
"I'm not hungry." Buffy replied somberly.  
  
"Buffy. Your not happy, right?" Willow asked innocently.  
  
"Of course not." Buffy answered, looking up at Willow, slightly angrily. Willow put up a had to show she meant no harm and Buffy silently apologized with her eyes.  
  
"I think you should talk to Spike then." Willow said.  
  
"What!" Buffy almost screamed. "You want me to what, go back and tell him I want to have a relationship again. Go back and tell him that it doesn't matter that he lied to me, that he tried to kill me!"  
  
"But he didn't try to kill you, and I don't think he was planning to." Willow insisted. Buffy took a breath and began again in a softer voice.  
  
"He lied to me. He's not the man I fell in love with. And I may still love him, but I won't have him knowing that." Buffy said.  
  
"Your punishing him because your angry at him, and I know that he's hurting because of it. But Buffy, you have done nothing wrong." Willow said. Buffy looked up at her and nodded. Willow continued. "So why are you punishing yourself. Why are you in pain for something that you didn't do."  
  
"I…" Buffy began.  
  
"Talk to him." Willow urged softly.  
  
"I…"  
  
"Talk to him. You owe yourself that."  
  
"Fine." Buffy said in a barely audible whisper. "We'll talk." Buffy's face reflected sadness. However, inside her heart was shining with hope. Talking was how it was started. And who knows. Maybe talking would make it all okay. It wasn't like she had anything left to lose.  
  
  
  
  
  
I'm ever swiftly moving trying to escape this desire, the yearning to be near you…And I don't know how to let you go…  
  
Do What You Have To Do by Sarah McLachan


	21. Hallway of Love

Part 21:

  
"Buffy." Cordelia said, rushing through the crowded hallways of Sunnydale high to speak to the slayer. Buffy raised an eyebrow at Cordelia. It was hard enough being back at school so soon after her break up (betrayal). But add Cordelia Chase into the mix and it seemed like the day was not going to be a good one.  
  
Cordelia, ever tactless, failed to notice Buffy's raised eyebrow, or her exasperated sigh, and instead, began talking.  
  
"I've been thinking about Xander." Cordelia began. That caught Buffy's surprise. The slayer had seen Xander looking at Cordelia, and knew he had at least some kind of crush on her. However, Buffy had assumed it was merely a physical attraction. Xander was, after all, only male. He shouldn't be held accountable for his lack of taste. However, now that Cordelia was inquiring about Xander, in a way that seemed more than just a little suspicious, the slayer began to wonder about the feelings that were forming between the two.  
  
"What about Xander?" The slayer asked, snapping back to reality.  
  
"Is he going out with anyone?" The head cheerleader asked, trying to keep her voice even. However, Buffy had already figured out where the series of questions were heading. Still, before the petite blonde could answer, Cordelia spoke again. "No, of course he isn't. I mean this is Xander, he's a loser. He's not dating anyway…is he?"  
  
"No." Buffy replied, smiling slightly, something it seemed that she hadn't done in ages, though in truth it had only been two days.  
  
"Then I'll go." Cordelia said. "Not to find him." The cheerleader quickly said, amending the statement.  
  
"I never said you were." Buffy said, still smiling at the cheerleader. Cordelia turned to go, however, she glanced back at Buffy, as if deciding about something, and then turned back around, without even a 'thank you.'  
  
Buffy went on the tips of her toes and watched as the cheerleader headed toward Xander's locker. Buffy smile was erased from her face as she thought about the day Spike had come to school with her…and the night before…and all the nigh and days before that. However, Buffy's train of thought was stopped as a question formed in her mind. Sunlight…sunlight! Spike had been able to go out in the sun. But that shouldn't have been possible. Buffy contemplated going to Giles to ask him about it. However, the thought of having to speak Spike's name aloud brought tears to her eyes, so Buffy suspected saying it would hurt even more. Instead, the slayer assumed it to be some kind of spell, and headed to her last class of the day.  
  
On the way she passed Oz's locker. Oz was a guitar player, and it seemed that he had his eye on Willow. It also seemed that Willow had her eye on Oz. Buffy thought it would be nice, to see her friends all in relationships. However, when Buffy went further up the hall she found Willow standing by her locker, but not alone. No, Willow was standing next to a girl with light brown hair. When Willow saw Buffy she turned and smiled widly.  
  
"Hey Buffy." The redhead greeted her friend. Buffy managed to get a weak smile across her lips, knowing that she couldn't fool her friend into thinking she was happy anyway, so why try.  
  
"Who's this?" Buffy asked, nodding her head in the direction of the brown haired girl.  
  
"Oh. This is Tara, she's new. Buffy, Tara…Tara, Buffy." Willow said. Tara managed a soft hi, as well as a wave, but Willow continued talking. "Tara knows all about demons. She does spells and said she would help me. You know I've been interested in magic." Willow explained to Buffy. The slayer smiled at Willow and Tara and then headed on, nearing her classroom. However, when she looked back, she saw Willow brushing hair away from Tara's eyes, and wondered just how close the girls were.  
  
The slayer continued on, stopped a few more times by annoying jocks, and the regular hallway traffic. The school had never seemed this crowded before. However, Buffy knew that time had never seemed to move more slowly before. It seemed like every second away from Spike was like ten million years. The slayer stood in front of the computer lab, her last class…finally there. However, when she walked inside the sight there shocked her. Giles stood, holding an old book, and stuttering as he spoke to Miss Jenny Calendar, the attractive, raven haired computer teacher, and, as Giles had just found out, Cyber Pagan. Though Buffy knew that she and Giles looked like they were just talking shop, the light in their eyes reflected more. Yup, it seemed like everyone was entering a relationship. Everyone but her.  
  
It wasn't that Buffy wanted a boyfriend, just for the sake of having one. No, the petite slayer wanted Spike. People enter relationships everyday, but Buffy was so hyperaware of people entering relationships today. It was like they were mocking her. Trying to show her how happy they were, how normal and simple their lives were.  
  
"That's it." Buffy said, exiting the computer lab. "Last period be damned. I'm going to find Spike." With that the slayer exited the building, zipping past Snyder, who watched her with hawk eyes as she left campus.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
There I am in younger days, star gazing. Painting picture perfect maps of how my life and love would be. Not counting the unmarked paths of misdirection, my compass faith in love's perfection. I missed ten million miles of road I should have seen.  
  
-Indigo Girls  
  



	22. Chapter 22

Part 22:

  
"Spike." Buffy called, stepping tentatively into the shadowy mansion. "Spike." The slayer called again. She half hoped that Spike wasn't there, because honestly, Buffy thought that the moment she saw him she wouldn't be able to resist running into his arms. No, she wouldn't give in. She was the slayer, standing tall against vampire…all vampire's…even sexy, sweet, sensitive vampires. Buffy was shook from her thoughts as the aforementioned vampire came into the main hall.  
  
"Slayer." Spike said, pleasantly surprised, a hopeful look in his eyes that it took all of Buffy's will to resist.  
  
"I think we need to talk." Buffy said. Spike nodded, dumbly.  
  
The slayer was even more beautiful than he remembered. A cliché thing to say, but so true. Her hair framed her face in soft blonde curls, and her hazel eyes shined, staring strait into Spike's eyes. Spike could feel emotions coming off her in waves. Pain, which Spike shuddered to think he was the cause of. But also, love, and forgiveness. Spike shoved his thoughts away. He was probably just imagining the love and forgiveness. Slayer's don't date vampire's.  
  
"If you had a do over" Buffy began. Spike looked at her quizzically. "If you could turn back time, change something" The slayer explained "would you tell me the truth?"  
  
"No." Spike answered honestly. Buffy's eyes widened at Spike's strait foreword answer. "I couldn't stand to lose you Buffy. And I know you think that you would accept me for what I am, but you wouldn't. And it hurts too much to think that I wouldn't even have the memories that I have now. It hurts to think that I wouldn't be able to spend any time with you."  
  
"You think you know me so well." Buffy said, staring at Spike defiantly. "I know the world isn't black and white…you think I don't know that?"  
  
"I'm just saying…" Spike began. However, Buffy cut him off.  
  
"You're not even the first vampire I've dated!" Buffy screamed in an exasperated tone.  
  
That stopped Spike. He had been all prepared to deal with Buffy. Ready with comebacks and apologies, ready with plans for how to work through this. But Buffy's admission changed everything.  
  
"What?" Spike asked, his tone breathy, especially for that of a vampire.  
  
"His name was Angel. I broke up with him because I knew I was falling for you. He was…is….a vampire." Buffy explained. "I didn't mention him because I didn't want to talk about him. I wasn't hiding anything from you, I just didn't think bringing up your ex was a greater conversation starter."  
  
"Angel…Angelus?" Spike asked. Buffy nodded, wondering how Spike knew that.  
  
"How do you know…" Buffy began, however, Spike cut her off.  
  
"Angelus was my grandsire." Spike said. Buffy's eyes opened wide.  
  
"I can't…I don't…" Buffy stuttered. However, when she finally came to her senses she spoke again. "That's not the issue at hand. The fact is that you lied to me, and I'm suffering because of it. And that's not fair."  
  
"You're right slayer. You're right about everything. It's not fair that my stupidity, my selfish need for you is causing you to suffer. But you also can't deny that you still love me. That I still love you." Spike said, walking closer to the slayer. Spike moved one step foreword with each word he spoke, watching hopefully as the slayer didn't back away.  
  
"I still love you Spike. And it's killing me to be apart from you. Every time I think of how much pain I'm in my first thought is to run to you, to tell you my problems, so that you can make them go away. But then I remember…you are my problem." Buffy spoke honestly.  
  
"Let me make it better." Spike pleaded, now standing arms length from Buffy, not willing to come any closer."  
  
"We're not going to fix this today." Buffy began, purposefully avoiding Spike's lovesick eyes, afraid she would get lost in them. "It will take time, and trust. But I want to try to make things better. Because I can't live without you. And I do understand why you did what you did. I just need you to know…we're not going to fix this just by announcing that we have a problem. I 'm not going to fall into your arms. I need to make sure that when your arms are outstretched, I feel safe falling into them." Buffy explained.  
  
"I'll wait for you slayer. I just want you to remember. My arms will always be outstretched for you." Spike whispered. Buffy nodded and turned to go. However, Spike's cool hand on her forearm stopped her. She tensed under his touch, it felt so good, and it had been so long. However, when she turned around her face was an unreadable mask.  
  
Spike wordlessly crushed his mouth to hers, Buffy and Spike kissed for a moment, neither willing to acknowledge the fact that they had just agreed to give it time. However, Spike broke off the kiss softly and placed a firm kiss on the slayer's forehead.  
  
"Just so you remember shoe lips the arms are attached to." Spike whispered. Buffy shook slightly from the force of the kiss and could only nod dumbly.  
  
"I'll come visit soon." The slayer promised. Spike nodded and Buffy turned to leave once again. However, a loud thump caused her and Spike to turn. There, sitting in the center of the mansion's main hall lay a curled up figure of a woman, clad in a stunning red dress, the woman was unconscious. Spike spoke one word.  
  
"Drusilla…"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
I would rather have had  
  
One breath of her hair,  
  
One kiss from her mouth,  
  
One touch of her hand,  
  
Than eternity without it. One!  
  
Nicholas Cage referring to Meg Ryan in City of Angels


	23. Chapter 23

Part 23:

  
"So, explain to me again, whose Drusilla?" Buffy asked, breaking the silence that had settled since Spike spoke Drusilla's name in a hush, and then proceeded to chain the unconscious women to the wall, to make sure she didn't wake up and decide to attack.  
  
"She was…" Spike began, stressing the was, "the love of my un-life. She was my sire, she rescued me from mediocrity, made me the demon I am. But then she died and I was devastated. That's when I got offered the job to kill you." Spike said, looking down as he muttered the last sentence. Buffy brushed his cheek gently, to remind him that she was trying to forgive him. Spike spoke once more "Mercaptil, the demon who sent me to kill you offered me the chance to bring Drusilla back. I was angry and upset, I was stupid. I took him up on the offer." Spike said, once more angry at himself. Buffy reached for his hand and held it comfortingly. Spike looked up and smiled slightly at her. However, the clanging of chains broke the mood and Buffy and Spike turned to look at an awakening Drusilla.  
  
"My Spike." Drusilla said sweetly, rising to her feet and walking toward Spike and Buffy. However, the chains stopped her and she pouted.  
  
"Do you remember what happened Dru?" Spike asked gently.  
  
"Mercaptil said you needed me, he whispered in my ear, calling out for me to come back to you. The stars were dancing and the flowers were dying, but I knew my Spike needed me. I knew you needed to dance."  
  
"I made a mistake Dru. You will always matter to me, but not the same way we once cared for each other. I need to send you back baby." Spike cooed softly. Buffy watched how tenderly Spike spoke to Drusilla and felt a twinge of jealousy. However, when Spike turned back to Buffy he saw this and motioned for the slayer to follow him into a different room of the mansion, leaving Drusilla pouting and talking to herself.  
  
"What is it?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Slayer." Spike began. "I want you to know that you're the only girl for me. And I know that Dru and I have a history, and I know that the way I act around her is sweet and gentle, and loving. But I need you to know that it's you. I love you, and you're it. You're the one slayer." Buffy didn't waste a moment before she leaned over and hugged Spike tightly to her, not caring that she was breaking the self imposed rule about touching each other until she was ready to start their relationship once more.  
  
Spike reluctantly broke the hug, allowing Buffy to keep her arms hung loosely around his neck. "If we start our relationship again right now I won't be able to say no. And then one day we'll fight about me lying to you. We need time, you said it yourself. And until your sure that it's time for us to try it again, nothing's going to happen to us." Spike reminded Buffy, gently removing her arms from around his neck.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes but smiled when Spike turned his back. He could be so sweet…he WAS so sweet, always able to see right through her, and always respecting her, and the emotions and feelings she had.  
  
"Found it." Spike said, turning back to Buffy, in the vampire's hand was a syringe filled with some sort of liquid medicine. The slayer backed away from Spike cautiously and the bleached blonde laughed, the sound coming from deep in his belly. "I used to give this to Dru all the time, to keep her calm. I thought if I gave it to her now it would be helpful, keep her from getting into trouble while we tried to summon Mercaptil. I want him to take Drusilla back. As much as I missed her it was a mistake. I know that now." Buffy nodded, feeling a wave of compassion for the vampire as he seemed so calm on the outside, though Buffy knew firsthand how hard it was to let someone you loved go, in favor of doing what's right, or in favor of a knew love. Spike gave Buffy a quizzical look, as he saw the expression she was giving him. However, Buffy shook her head, showing him she didn't want to talk about it.  
  
Spike walked out into the room where Drusilla was chained, she was still babbling incessantly to herself, however when Buffy and Spike approached Drusilla growled.  
  
"What is it Dru?" Spike asked.  
  
"The slayer's taken you away." Dru whispered, a pained expression on her face.  
  
"You were dead, ducks." Spike reminded Drusilla.  
  
"But the stars, as long as they shined we were together. The fire crashed and lightening rumbled, and the world opened up and brought us together." Drusilla said softly. However, Spike sensed that she was getting worked up so when Drusilla had turned away from him to talk to the wall, Spike stuck the needle gently into her arm. Buffy watched, her mouth wide open as Drusilla immediately calmed down.  
  
It was as if her sanity had suddenly returned. Spike was able to unchain her, and Drusilla simply stood waiting for him to lead her out of the mansion. The sun had just begun to set, and Spike figured it was dark enough for a short outing.  
  
"Where too?" Buffy asked, standing on the side of Spike that Drusilla didn't occupy.  
  
"Well, I was hoping that we could go to the library. I thought maybe your pals would resist the urge to stake me" Spike said with a smirk "and help us find a way to get Dru back to where she came from."  
  
"I think the gang could manage that." Buffy said. And she reached over and gently took Spike's hand, the one that he was not using to help guide Drusilla. Spike tensed slightly at the contact, but the moment Buffy leaned her head on his shoulder, Spike relaxed, ignoring the fact that they weren't supposed to be touching, Spike basked in the feeling of warmth and love it gave him to have the slayer once again touching him. It felt like hope.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Birth of the Red Rose:  
  
Once upon a time there was a nightingale who loved a white rose against the will of Allah... And night after night, the nightingale would come and beg the rose for her love but even though the rose trembled at the sound of his voice, her petals remained closed to him. Flower and bird - two species never meant to mate. Yet at length, the rose learned to overcome her fear. She finally let him come close enough to touch her, opening her petals. The nightingale was so moved by the beautiful white rose that he offered her his song, his beauty. As he sang to her, the nightingale's breast was scratched on a thorn, and his blood fell on her soil. And it was from that single forbidden union was born the red rose that Allah never intended the world to know...  
  
abridged from a Persian fairytale


	24. Chapter 24

Part 24:

"So, should I be prepared for stakes coming my way?" Spike asked, trying to hide the nervousness, which the slayer could easily detect in his voice.

"I'll protect you," Buffy said, smiling brightly at the vampire.

"Oh, I feel so much safer with the slayer protecting me," Spike deadpanned, winking at Buffy. The slayer squeezed Spike's hand, though the vampire thought that action might have been more for Buffy to feel safe then for him.

Buffy and Spike entered the library, Drusilla still hanging limply in Spike's arms. Almost at once, six heads looked up from a square table where they sat researching. "Probably thinking of ways to stake me," Spike muttered under his breath, still slightly nervous. He was a master vampire, yet the Scoobies made him tremble. And it wasn't that they were such great demon fighters, though Buffy had told him tales of their great battles that left him fairly impressed. It was more the fact that he knew how much power they held over the slayer. If they didn't accept him, Spike couldn't blame the slayer for also turning away from him.

"Buff," Xander said, the first one to speak to the slayer, "Do you know that there's an annoying dead guy behind you?" The slayer took a deep breath, however, Xander spoke again, "and he appears to be holding a…damsel in distress!" Buffy's raven haired friend looked wearily at the girl Spike was holding, and then took a few steps backwards.

"She's dead," Buffy said, and then rephrased the sentence, noticing the confused and rather strange looks she was getting. "I mean she's undead. Listen, Spike and I have decided to try to have a relationship. I know it will be hard, and I know that Spike doesn't have a soul, like Angel did, but I think…" The slayer stopped speaking as a head poked out of Giles' office.

"Did someone call me?" Angel asked. However, no one had time to respond, as, in a flash, Angel had Spike pinned against the wall. Drusilla had fallen into a puddle on the floor, although no one noticed, as they were all too busy staring at the two vampires.

Both vampires had switched into game face and were speaking to each other, however not in English, but in a series of growls and snarls, accented by a few punches (mostly from Angel to Spike, as Angel was in the dominant position). After a few moments of this, Buffy spoke the question that was on everybody's mind.

"What the hell is going on here?" The slayer asked angrily, her eyes flashing with confusion and anger.

The two vampires immediately stopped what they were doing, (whatever that was?), and Angel backed away from Spike, coming over to Buffy and standing only a foot away from her, ignoring Spike's angry and jealous growl of protest.

"It's how vampires communicate with each other. Most of the time we speak like humans, but for vampires that are related, sometimes a language that our order made up is spoken." Angel explained, his voice soft and gentle when speaking to Buffy, contrasting against the hard tone he used when talking to Spike.

"Angel, I just want you to know, I didn't realize that you knew Spike-I didn't even know he was a vampire…" The slayer began to explain.

"I know. He told me everything."

"Everything," Buffy squeaked.

"Not everything. But I figured out most of it." Angel said.

"Are you angry?" The slayer asked.

"I love you Buffy. But I'm not angry at you. You've done nothing wrong. I'm angry at William, for lying to you, and for coming with the intent of killing you. But I think that we've worked out some of our issues. Vampires aren't into talking as much as into…" Angel trailed off and, without warning, lunged at Spike, knocking him onto the library floor. Spike retaliated quickly, flipping Angel and kicking him swiftly in the groin. The pair continued fighting brutally. However, it seemed to Buffy that they weren't intent on killing each other, but were simply working out their issues. Therefore, the slayer took that opportunity to talk to her friends, who were watching the vampires with interest.

"Hey," Willow said, waving at the slayer. Buffy smiled and pulled up a chair next to Willow. Oz, who was sitting on one side of Willow, scooted over to allow Buffy to sit next to her red headed friend. The slayer leaned her arm on the table and realized, for the first time, that Tara was sitting on the other side of Willow.

"Oh," Buffy said in surprise. Tara waved shyly and Buffy smiled back warmly.

"Oz and Tara both volunteered to help research," Willow explained. The slayer's brow furrowed in heavy concentration, but as soon as she opened her mouth to speak, she was thrown across the room, Angel landing on top of her.

The petite slayer shot up and marched across the room, stopping only when she was within inches of Spike's face. Buffy held Spike's eye contact for a moment, and then turned and did the same to Angel, who had walked over to the pair.

"I've had enough! It was all of the good when you two had your "issues" to work out," Buffy said, making quotes with her hands as she spoke the word issues, "But the second I get tossed across the room you end up dealing with a very grumpy slayer."

"Sorry Buffy," Both vampires murmured in unison, both looking apologetic.

"Okay, now I know that things are a little weird," the slayer began, her voice soft as she was speaking to her friends and Angel, "but I love Spike. I don't think I can live without him. And if we're going to try and have a relationship again I'll need all of your support," Buffy paused, making eye contact for a moment with Spike, who traced his upper teeth with his tongue in that obnoxious way that made Buffy know he was thinking about her with a less than appropriate amount of clothes on. However, the slayer couldn't help but smile.

"We should work on getting Drusilla back to wherever she came from," Willow suggested. Her soft voice, filled with strength and support for her friend warmed the slayer's heart.

"I guess that means we start researching," came Giles' voice, looking at Buffy, a smile on his face. Xander stared straight into the slayers eyes, an unreadable expression on his face. Then he spoke words that almost brought the brightest smile yet to the slayer's eyes.

"Research. I hate research. Can't we just "poof" her? She's dead anyway?" Xander suggested, making a staking motion with his hand.

"At least the world's not ending," Cordelia pointed out helpfully. Angel opened his mouth, as if to say something, but was cut off as Drusilla woke up.

"Sparks of blue call to me," The raven-haired beauty spoke, standing and beginning to twirl. Buffy walked over to Spike and took his hand in hers as the pair watched the old love of Spike's un-life twirl like a child. "But it's so funny," Drusilla continued, as if actually talking to someone.

"What's funny?" Spike asked softly.

"Miss Edith isn't wearing the blue dress I put her in. She's too busy tying her bonnet. And I think…the parade…is going to be rained……..out…." As Drusilla spoke her voice became softer, until she was speaking barely above a whisper. Then she once again collapsed onto the ground, falling into the same position she had been in previously.

"So," Oz said, preparing to speak the longest string of words he had said all day, "anyone else thinking this vamps making the kind of sense that isn't?" Oz was met by a chorus of agreeing nods. "Alright then…research…" The werewolf said, as he wandered off in the direction of Giles office.

"Research," Buffy agreed softly.

No one noticed that lurking behind a stack of books, Principal Snyder was watching them all with interest…

We love because it's the only true adventure.

-- Nikki Giovanni


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

"It just seems so easy. Like we're deux ex machina-ing our way out of this problem," Buffy said, as she hunched over the diagram Giles, Willow and Tara had put together of what all the Scoobies' parts were in the ritual. Xander and Cordelia were getting the ingredients required to do the spell, and Tara, Willow and Oz were setting up candles and herbs throughout the library. Giles had been going over the ritual with Buffy and Spike, while Angel watched Drusilla, making sure she didn't awaken. If the vampiress did awake, who knew what havoc she could wreak. Especially since her strength may have returned

"Deux ex machina-ing?" Giles asked, his voice slightly amused, slightly confused.

"Deux ex machina. You know, when in the ancient Greek plays some god would come down and solve all the ancient warriors problem's," Buffy's chipper red head friend answered Giles. The watcher smiled slightly as soon as Buffy turned to talk to Spike. She may not be the most studious pupil, but every so often his slayer surprised him with her knowledge and insight.

"Is it almost time?" Angel asked, coming in from the office where he and Drusilla were.

"We just have to wait for Xander and Cordelia to come back with the last ingredients were missing," Willow said. A second after the red head spoke the sound of screaming, and then of Xander's high pitched 'yelp' echoed throughout the abandoned hall of Sunnydale High.

"I'd say that's them. You know, by the yelling and the screaming," Oz supplied helpfully. 

Oz was correct, as Xander and Cordelia burst through the doors of the library. Cordelia's hair was slightly mussed, and Xander was holding his arm protectively, trying to shield both it, and the ingredients he was holding, from the extremely angry cheerleader.

"What happened?" Spike asked to Cordelia. 

"That idiot tried to kiss me," Cordelia replied.

"Xander!" Buffy exclaimed, not sure whether to be angry, or to laugh out loud, as she knew that Cordelia and Xander liked each other, yet also knew that Xander had probably been confusing Cordelia by insulting her one minute, and putting the moves on her the next. Yes, the slayer knew her friend pretty well.

"I did not try and kiss Cordy!" Xander protested, "she tried to kiss me-and when I didn't slap her, she hit me like it was MY fault."

"I did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Stop this childish behaviour this instant!" A calm, yet clearly annoyed British voice commanded. Everyone turned to Giles who took his glasses off his face and began thoroughly cleaning them with a handkerchief he took from his tweed jacket, "Now we have work to do. The spell can be performed in twenty minutes, or we'll have to wait until tomorrow. I don't think we want that. So Angel, go back and watch Drusilla. Willow and Tara, come with me so I can give you each the part of the spell you're supposed to read. Oz, you and Xander, and Cordelia should finish putting out the ingredients needed for the spell. And for heaven's sake, Buffy, either kiss Spike or stop looking over at him like your going to rip his clothes off the second I leave the room!" Giles commanded. Then he marched into his office, trailed by Willow and Tara. 

A silence settled over the room as Cordelia and Oz and Xander attempted to work together quietly. However, everyone doing their job left Spike and Buffy standing next to one another, alone, in the center of the library. Spike looked down at the table that they were standing next to and immediately one hundred things of what he could do the slayer using the table came to mind. However, the bleached blonde vampire pushed then out of his head as the Slayer touched a tentative hand to his chest. Grabbing her roughly, Spike captured Buffy's lips within his own, biting down gently as she ran her hands over his duster. They moaned in unison and separated only when Spike's supernatural hearing picked up the voices of Willow, Giles, Angel, and Tara coming closer. Buffy smiled and gave Spike a soft peck on the mouth after they broke away from one another, timed perfectly, as at the moment after everyone came into the main library.

Angel was carrying Drusilla, and Willow, Tara, and Giles were all holding pieces of parchment that Buffy assumed contained the part of the spell they needed to read. Oz, Cordelia and Xander had set up all the things needed for the spell throughout the library, and had also turned off all the lights, and once Angel placed Drusilla in the center of a ring of candles, the Scoobies (Scoobies is a name so, once again, it's capitalizedJ) formed a circle, held hands, and stood in silence as Willow prepared to chant.

"Bless us oh mother Gaea. Protect us from the forces of all worlds. Allow us to perform this ritual. Let this unworthy being cross over." Willow chanted. Tara picked up the chant, her voice strong and sure as she spoke the incantation. 

"Bring the world to order. Allow things to be put right once more. Place Drusilla in her world. Keep all other beings in theirs."

"Close the portals oh blessed Gaea. Accept out offering to you, as well as our thanks," Giles chanted, finishing the incantation. Tara lifted a single olive branch, the offering, above her head, and Willow lifted a candle to it and set it on fire. Buffy was about to rush over to Tara, afraid the girl's hands would burn. However, instead of burning, the olive branch merely dissolved into thin air. And, at that exact moment, Drusilla awoke, stood shakily, and then dissolved without a word.

The library lights turned back on automatically, and the Scoobies stood in silence, all amazed at the intensity of the spell. However, it was Angel that first noticed the tears that ran down Spike's face. When Spike realized that everyone was staring at him with interest he bit back a remark about not being a freak show, and instead, wiped the tears out of his eyes. However, Buffy placed her hand on his, causing him to stop. Her touch feather light, the slayer grasped Spike's hand and held it tightly. Then, using her other hand she reached over and gently brushed the tears from under his eyes. 

"I'm so sorry," The slayer whispered.

"Don't be," Spike assured Buffy softly.

"I love you," Buffy whispered.

"I love you too Slayer…always," Spike assured Buffy.

Behind the bookshelf, Snyder was on the phone. "Tell the mayor," Snyder whispered, "we have a problem"

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature   
To stop speech when words become superfluous.   
~ by Ingrid Bergman ~


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

"Is it weird, Drusilla being gone, when you could have gotten her back?" Buffy asked Spike. The pair were laying on the Slayer's bed. They had gone to Buffy's house and simply lay next to one another, holding each other in a protective embrace. The sun had begun to rise, signalling the time when Buffy would have to return to school. However, for now Buffy and Spike just enjoyed the feeling of being close after so long apart.

"It's not that weird. I mean, she was gone already, I knew it could never last," The vampire explained.

"Spike…" Buffy began however he cut her off.

"Will we ever be OK?" Spike asked.

"Huh?" The slayer asked in response to Spike's question, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"I mean do you think that you'll ever forgive me for lying, you'll ever forget all I've done?"

"No," The slayer replied simply. At Spike's hurt look Buffy clarified, "I mean, I don't want to forget. Everything that's happened between us has led us to this. This point of perfect happiness, and I feel so happy being with you." Spike simply smiled at the slayer's comment, too content to speak. After a moment he gathered his thoughts.

"I'm going to tell you something, and you're probably going to hate me afterwards," The vampire said.

"What?" The petite slayer asked curious about what Spike had to say.

"I just mean, I'm going to tell you something wonderful, and afterwards, one can only assume that something terrible will happen. And then you'll say I've jinxed you," Spike explained, almost cringing when he realized that he'd just said the word 'jinxed.' When did he ever lower himself to speaking the way the slayer might? Spike mused silently.

"Tell me," Buffy commanded softly, running a hand through Spike's bleached hair. He hesitated for only a moment before speaking.

"I can't imagine being happier than I am at this moment, and I feel that if for the rest of eternity all we did was lay in this bed, just being near one another, things would be perfect. Things are already perfect," Spike said, smiling shyly at the slayer. However, before Buffy had a chance to respond to Spike, the vampire was proven correct in his fears as the bedroom door to Buffy's room opened and Joyce stood, her bathrobe still on, a scowl on her face. Behind her stood Principal Snyder, and a police officer.

"Spike," Buffy whispered nervously.

"Yes love?" Spike replied.

"Never talk again," The slayer commanded.

"Yeah…thought so…."

And think not you can   
Direct the course of love,   
For love,   
If it finds you worthy,   
Directs your course.   
~ by Gibran Kahlil Gibran ~


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Buffy sat silently on the couch in her living room. Spike sat next to her, holding her hand and watching as the slayer fidgeted nervously with the hem of her shirt. Joyce stood next to the couch, watching the lovers like a hawk. Sitting across from them, Principal Snyder and a Sunnydale police officer, Officer Melly, had begun to question the slayer.

"So, you were not home all night?" Officer Melly asked.

"No," Buffy replied, trying to keep her voice calm, "I was at the library for most of the night. Mr. Giles and I were studying."

"She was," Spike said, seconding the slayer.

"You were there with her?" Melly asked, standing and beginning to pace in front of the couch.

"All night," Spike replied, fighting down the urge to flash his game face at this man.

"What did you do after you were done at the library?" Melly asked impatiently.

"Is this really necessary?" Joyce Summer's asked, "Buffy is a good kid, and I don't think that she's committed any crime. But perhaps if you asked her about what you think she did…" Joyce was cut off.

"I'm sorry Miss Summers, but I need to question your daughter and her boyfriend. If you cannot accept this, I'll have to ask you leave," Officer Melly told Joyce. Mrs Summers nodded her consent and folded her arms in front of her, trying to remain clam.

"As I asked before, what did you do after you were done at the library?" Melly asked.

"We went home, just to talk. See, Spike and I…" Buffy began however Officer Melly cut her off. 

"Spike…is that your boyfriends real name?"

"No, his name is William," The slayer replied.

"Continue," Melly said, motioning for Buffy to keep talking.

"Spike and I had a fight, we just got back together, you know, forgave one another, and decided to come back to the house and chat, catch up. Then you came in."

No one spoke for a few minutes. However, Officer Melly took out a small notebook and began jotting some things down. Then, Principal Snyder broke the silence.

"Well, I'm sorry to interrupt your evening, but William and Miss Summers are going to have to come with me," Joyce protested immediately.

"I really don't think that William and Buffy have done anything wrong. In fact I'm starting to question exactly how qualified you two are to be doing this investigation."

"I'm sorry you feel that way Miss Summers, but your daughter and William both need to come down to City Hall immediately. There, I promise, everything will be explained to them," Officer Melly said, speaking to Joyce as if she was a small child.

"Can I come with?" Joyce asked.

"No," Principal Snyder answered quickly, "These two need to go alone. They need to speak to the mayor." Spike and Buffy looked at one another, confused. They didn't notice that when Principal Snyder reached into his suit pocket, a stake peaked out of its corner, barely visible.

Your voice makes me tremble inside   
And your smile is an invitation   
For my imagination to go wild.   
~ by Anonymous ~


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

"What do you think the mayor wants?" Buffy asked Spike. The two were sitting in the lobby of City Hall, waiting for the mayor to call them into his office. It was almost seven in the morning, Buffy and Spike had been up all night however Snyder had still insisted that the mayor needed to speak to Spike and Buffy. 

"The mayor probably wants what every other man in America wants," Spike replied, smirking slightly.

"What?" The petite slayer asked, confused.

"Your phone number, and a razor that actually works," Spike replied. The vampire exhaled a laugh, however, stopped abruptly when he saw that Buffy wasn't laughing.

"How can you say that?" The slayer asked.

"I was just kidding love. You know, trying to lighten the mood."

"But the mood isn't light," Buffy insisted, "I know that this doesn't really worry you, being that you could just eat these guys if they upset you, but for me this is a very big deal." Buffy looked at Spike, however, he was staring past her, not at her.

"What did you say?" Spike asked. At Buffy's look he clarified, "You said that I could just eat these guys, if they annoyed me."

"Well you could," Buffy protested.

"Is that what you think of me? That I'm just another vampire with no sense of right and wrong. That I deal with everything by just killing the people I don't like. Maybe you should watch out then. Hey, you never know, the next time we get in a fight maybe I'll just…eat you," Spike said, his voice growing louder and more upset with each word he spoke.  
"I didn't mean it that way," Buffy insisted. The two were silent for a few seconds until the slayer spoke again, "I'm sorry. I don't think of you as just another vampire. I'm just saying that being the slayer, AND a high school student can be kind of stressful. I'm sorry."

"I'm nervous too love. This mayor, he gives me, as you would say 'the wiggins," Spike finished his sentence and sent Buffy into a fit off giggles. At Spike's look, Buffy explained.

"It's just the thought of you saying the wiggins. It's kind of funny." The slayer explained in between giggles.

"At least I could make you laugh," Spike said, satisfied that the tension surrounding the pair had broken. However, Buffy's giggles ceased and she turned to him. Spike feared that she was going to revert to worrying and being angry at him. However, he was pleasantly surprised when Buffy spoke in a playful tone.

"So," The slayer began "every guy wants my phone number?" Spike rolled his eyes in a good-natured way and then gently rested the slayer's head on his shoulder, kissing her hair and allowing her to drift off to sleep.

The slayer awoke a few minutes later when the mayor stepped out of his office, a bright smile on his face and motioned for Buffy and Spike to step into his office. Buffy took Spike's hand in hers and the pair walked into the mayors office.

There was nothing suspicious about the mayor's office. In fact, it was kind of nice. Picture's hung on the wall, showing the mayor with boy scout troops and other local charities. His desk was clean except for a picture of him and his family, a cup of pens and pencils, and a stack of papers in the center of his desk.

The mayor took a seat on the rolling leather chair behind his desk and motioned for Spike and Buffy to take seats on two chairs facing the desk, which they did. It was a few moments before Spike began to speak.

"Have you ever been to the movies?" Mayor Wilkins asked. "Of course you have," He said, answering his own question. "People go to the movies to escape reality. To watch people do things that they could never to in real life, to watch people see things that are not possibly real. It's funny, the truth in the movies. Don't you agree Miss Summers?"

"I guess," The slayer mumbled.

"Let me make myself clear. Demons, for example. Most people say they don't exist. That their simply a creation of movie masterminds. In Sunnydale we know differently. Don't we, William?" 

"What are you playing at?" Spike asked, growling slightly.

"I think the question you might want to ask is what can I do for you sir?" The Mayor said, looking down at Spike as if reprimanding a son.

"Well, it's nice that you think I should be asking you that question. However, I was more thinking about asking you how slowly you want to die?" Spike said, standing and glaring at the mayor, radiating waves of power.

"I would sit if I were you Spike. I can call you Spike, right? You wouldn't prefer William the Bloody?" The mayor continued, without waiting for Spike's answer, or the vampire to sit. "You see, I've been tracking you and Miss Summers for quite sometime. I have an album full of photos of the two of you. You two staking vampires and fighting demons. Some, I must admit, of you two in very compromising positions," The mayor admitted.

"You bastard," Buffy ground out, standing and making a move toward the mayor. However, Spike held her back. The vampire knew that the mayor must have some kind of trick up his sleeve, how else would he feel comfortable in the room with a master vampire and a slayer?

"I'm sorry you feel that way Buffy. Because you see, I have two choices for you. Either run a few errands for me. You know, kill a few demons, rob a few banks, call me boss for the next few months, possibly the next few years. Or don't, go back to your lives."

"What's the catch?" The petite blonde slayer asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No catch," The mayor replied simply.

"Then why would we ever call you master?" Spike asked.

"Well, I guess you wouldn't. See, the thing is, it all depends on how much you like your watcher."

To live is like to love -   
all reason is against it,   
and all healthy instinct for it.   
~ by Samuel Butler, Life and love ~


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

"What did you do to him?" The slayer asked the mayor, Spike's reassuring hand on her shoulder being the only thing keeping her from lunging at the mayor and showing him what slayer strength was all about.

"The thing is, you can't hurt me. Not now, not ever. Test it out if you want. Stake me, stab me, I'm invulnerable, I'm immortal. The other thing is, your watcher isn't hurt…yet. Here, I have pictures," Mayor Wilkins said, his tone of voice still chipper, as if he didn't sense the waves of hatred coming off of the vampire and the slayer.

Reaching into his desk drawer, the mayor produced two pictures, one of Giles, tied to a chair, gagged and bound. The other picture was of the watcher lying unconscious on the library floor. It seemed that he had been the last one to leave the library, and had been jumped right as he neared the doors. The mayor spoke again, "Now don't worry, Mr. Giles is doing OK. He's being fed, he's been given a cell with a cot and a bathroom. He's in excellent care…but that can all change," The mayor's tone immediately became harsh and cold. "You and your boyfriend do exactly what I say, when I say it Miss Summers. You don't double cross me, and you don't disobey me. In one year I let you and William go. Your watcher is returned to you, and we pretend that nothing happened. It's up to you. Be loyal to me, or be free… and your watcher dies."

Buffy and Spike looked at one another, Buffy's eyes filled with anger and fear, Spike's reflecting the same thing. The mayor picked up on their indecision.

"I'll let you two think it over of course. You can both wait in my private meeting room, right through that door," The mayor offered, his voice chipper once again, almost fatherly. Buffy and Spike allowed themselves to be ushered through the door, and then watched with amusement as the door was locked, as if that would keep two people with super strength in.

"I don't know what to do?" The slayer admitted. She and Spike had taken to seats next to each other in the board room. A large table was in the center of the room. However, they had chosen seats around the edge of the room.

"I don't expect you to slayer. We'll figure this out, I promise," Spike assured the worried slayer.

"And what, end up running errands for the mayor until he decides that Giles can go free. I can't do that, kill random demons…possibly people, but I also can't let Giles suffer. So basically I'm stuck. Between a rock and a soft place, as some might say."

"I think that's a rock and a hard place," The vampire corrected. However, he gave Buffy a look of apology for correcting her sentence when the slayer glared at him.

"What do we do? I think the mayor is telling the truth about being invulnerable, and I don't think that the Scoobies will be able to help on this one. We're on our own. The more people we involve, the more are at risk.

"We'll get through this," Spike promised.

"Don't say that," The slayer gently reprimanded.

"Why? It's the truth. We WILL get through this. We just need a plan. Maybe we could play along with the mayor and then try and find out his master plan. Then we could get all the scoobies together and-" Buffy cut Spike off.

"-And what?" The slayer asked. Spike shrugged and then leaned his head back in defeat. However, after a moment he spoke again.

"I think the first step is to figure out the mayor's plan. Without that information we don't know anything," Spike said.

"So we play along for a while," The slayer said, a plan forming in her mind, "Before we kill demons we could ask them about themselves. You know, ask them what they do, what information they have. Then we'd know why the mayor wanted them dead."

"But what about the more harmless demons. Do we kill them too?" Spike asked.

"I doubt he'll have us kill harmless demons for a while, and by then, we'll know what the mayor's plan is, and we can ask the Scoobies to help us," Buffy answered. Spike was silent for a moment. Then the vampire tilted his head to the side, as if trying to get a better look at the slayer.

"What?" The petite slayer asked at Spike's strange look.

"Smart girls are SO hot," The vampire replied. Buffy laughed.

Spike really liked hearing her laugh. He liked seeing the brilliant smile that lit up her face, and he liked the way her muscles relaxed when she giggled. In his mind Spike swore that he would kill every demon and vampire in the entire world, that he would do anything he could possibly do, if it just meant that the slayer would never stop smiling. But the thing he loved most about the smile…it was kind of contagious…it made him feel more like a man.

I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for their religion -   
I have shudder'd at it.   
I shudder no more.   
I could be martyr'd for my religion   
Love is my religion   
And I could die for that.   
I could die for you. 


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

"Knock, knock," A chipper, familiar voice said as the mayor opened the door.

"Come in," Buffy answered dryly, as Mayor Wilkins was already inside the board room, smiling brightly.

"So, have you kids made a decision?" The mayor asked.

"We agree to your terms. We will do your errands for one year. But at that time we want to know for certain that we'll go free," Spike said.

"Of course," The mayor agreed. "One year and then this partnership ends. Mr. Giles goes free, as do you two. Now, before we begin, I just want to say that I think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot. I don't want you to think of this as forced labor, think of it more as an apprenticeship. You help me, I help you."

The petite slayer cocked an eyebrow at Mayor Wilkins, obviously not excited by the idea of being his apprentice. However, the mayor took no notice of this, and instead, kept talking.

"Now I suppose that you kids want to see Mr. Giles, so I'll let you do that this afternoon. Now, Miss Summers should go to school. I expect you and William here as soon as school lets out though," Mayor Wilkins told the slayer. Buffy nodded and then took Spike's hand and the pair made their way to the door. "Oh, and Buffy," The mayor called, stopping both the slayer and the vampire in their tracks, "You tell no one about our little deal. Not your friends, not your mother. The only people that know about this are me, you, William, and Principal Snyder."

"Principal Snyder!" The slayer screamed in surprise. The petite blonde had assumed that Principal Snyder was clueless, merely following orders. Now, however, it seemed that he was a source of information for the mayor.

"Yes, Principal Snyder also knows that you're the Slayer."

"Well…I better get to school. Spike, you want to go home and fill mom in on why we had to go the mayor's office and then meet me here when school's over?" Buffy asked her boyfriend.

"What should I tell your mom?" The vampire asked.

"I'll take care of it. I'll tell Joyce that you two kids are helping me out on a top secret assignment. Just doing your part to help our fine town," Mayor Wilkins said in response to Spike's question. The vampire nodded his consent and he and Buffy headed out, Spike to the mansion, to rest up and Buffy to school. One thing was for certain an apocalypse was most definitely on the way.

Other men said they have seen angels,   
But I have seen thee   
And thou art enough.   
~ by G. Moore ~


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

School passed in a daze. All the slayer could think about was Giles, Spike, and of course, the mayor. Her tension radiated off her in waves and her friends had naturally picked up on it. Not wanting to involve her friends in the plan, at least not yet, the slayer made up a lie about her mom finding the slayer's most recent report card. Buffy neglected to mention that her recent report card had actually been quite excellent, because of Spike helping her with her studying.

When the school day was finally over Buffy hurried to City Hall. The slayer needed to talk to Giles, and the sooner she saw the mayor, the sooner she would be with Giles. Buffy needed to make sure he was OK, she needed to know that he understood that she would always be there for him, that she was going to save him.

"Going somewhere love?" A familiar British voice asked.

"Oh, I'm just going to see this completely hot, sexy guy that I've been having this secret affair with," The slayer teased.

"Really?" Spike asked, coming up behind the slayer and stopping her for a second by kissing her temple, and then her soft neck. Buffy moaned her approval. The pair walked in silence for a few moments before Buffy spoke.

"We'll get through this Spike, won't we?" The slayer asked, looking up at the vampire, her hazel eyes shining with hope.

"I keep telling you that," Spike reminded Buffy.

"Yeah. I admit it. You're right. You're always right," Buffy said, rolling her eyes in a good-natured way.

"I know."

The pair reached City Hall and were met outside by a large van with black tinted windows. The vampire and the slayer climbed in and the van sped off. The van was separated into two sections, one for the driver, who was separated by a thick black door, so they could not b seen, and one for the passengers, in this case, Buffy and Spike. The van sped by different shops inside of Sunnydale, stopping only when it had passed the sign that read "You are now leaving Sunnydale, come back soon!"

Buffy and Spike hadn't spoken, however, they kept shooting each other worried glances. The van stopped abruptly by a sewer entrance. The door opened automatically and the slayer and vampire stepped down and found themselves met by two well-armed guards in army fatigues. The pair were escorted to a sewer entrance and walked through the dark, damp tunnels were what Buffy assumed was at least fifteen minutes. When the guards halted they opened a door in the side of the sewer and motioned for Buffy and Spike to crawl through it. The slayer and vampire did so, and weren't prepared for what they found.

They stood on a ledge that overlooked the largest room either of them had ever seen. It was a huge white room. The center was divided into a huge, square cubicle with a floor that reminded the slayer of tinfoil. On the tinfoil floor people in lab coats, who seemed to be doctors, were operating on a large demon-looking creature. The slayer and vampire turned their attention to the edge of the large room where, along the entire border of the room were small, square cells. Each of the cells looked exactly the same, a white tile floor, and glass walls. The cells looked only about 13 by 13 feet, and in each cell, was one creature. Most creatures appeared to be a demon. However, some of the creatures seemed to be human. A voice from behind startled the slayer, and upon turning, Buffy came face to face with the mayor, and another person, a tall, scowling woman.

"Welcome," The woman said, her voice scratchy, "You've just entered the Initiative."

Life without love is like a tree   
Without blossom and fruit…pointless  
~ by Khalil Gibra ~


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32:

The woman who had welcomed Spike and Buffy to the initiative, who they came to know as Professor Walsh, walked at a brisk pace, leading the pair through the corridors of the Initiative. Spike and Buffy struggled to keep up with her long strides, and to pay attention to what she was saying.

There was just so much to see. The cells were lined with creatures in all shapes and sizes. Mostly demons. However, a few of the cells contained humans. Humans were sunken in eyes that were filled with fear. As the slayer passed the cages filled with demons, several of them recognized her and jumped toward the glass doors, trying to attack. Buffy and Spike were surprised to see that when the demons hit the glass, they received a shock of electricity, and were immediately thrown backwards.

Professor Walsh stopped several cells in front of where Buffy and Spike stood. She looked behind her and noticed the slayer and vampire standing in front of a cell where a Chaos demon lived. The Professor doubled back and cleared her throat to gain the attention of the vampire and slayer.

"If you're interested in seeing your friend Mr. Giles I suggest you listen to what I have to say. You're going to be working with me and the mayor and it's important that you understand the initiative and it's goals," The professor reprimanded Buffy and Spike.

"Sorry," Buffy replied meekly. However, Spike didn't speak, he merely walked past the professor, brushing her shoulder as he went by. Professor Walsh narrowed her eyes in disgust before continuing the tour, filling in Spike and Buffy on all the rules of the initiative, as well as what their jobs would be.

The tour eventually looped back to the balcony where they had started. The mayor stood there, waiting for them.

"So, was your tour satisfactory?" He asked with a bright and nauseating smile plastered on his face.

"Where's Giles?" Buffy asked, vocalizing the question that had been plaguing her since she realized that Professor Walsh was not going to take her to see her watcher.

"Ahh, I expected that you'd want to see Mr. Giles. And you will. I'm just going to page a special agent, and he will take you and Spike to Rupert's cell," Mayor Wilkins explained. Buffy nodded, not pleased with the fact that she had yet to see Giles, but relieved that the mayor was going to let her see him today. Mayor Wilkins and Professor Walsh entered an office behind the balcony and reemerged a few minutes later. The mayor spoke at Buffy's questioning look.

"Special agent Riley Finn will arrive shortly to take you and Spike to Mr. Giles….quarters. You two will only have fifteen minutes to talk to Mr. Giles, but if you perform all your duties tomorrow you will be able to see him again. At the end of a week, if you've done everything correctly, you will be able to see Mr. Giles for half an hour."

"Does the time keep increasing?" Buffy asked hopefully.

"Sadly no." Mayor Wilkins said. "At the beginning of each week you will start again at fifteen minutes. I'm sorry, but I can't allow you and Rupert to speak for any longer than half an hour."

Buffy bit her lip angrily. However, when she met Spike's eyes he gave her an unspoken message not to argue. "Things are going to be OK," Buffy reminded herself, speaking softly so that only Spike could hear her. The vampire nodded at her and flashed her a smile. Things would be OK.

All I know of love is that love is all there is.

~Emily Dickinson~


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33:

Giles looked fine. Buffy had expected him to resemble some of the other human prisoners. However, except for the angry expression he wore, the librarian was in perfect health. As soon as Buffy realized that her watcher was being taken care of every muscle in her body visibly relaxed. The sight of him behind the thick glass still disturbed her, though, so the slayer was relieved when Agent Finn slid an ID card through a small slot, and the glass door opened.

Buffy rushed to meet Giles and hugged him tightly. Only letting go when his high pitched squeaks let the slayer know that air was becoming a necessity.

"I miss you so much," The slayer whispered.

"I trust you're all right?" Giles asked, taking a seat in the corner and motioning for Buffy to do the same. Spike stood, leaning against one of the walls, keeping a close eye on both Agent Finn, who was standing outside, pacing back and forth, and Buffy.

"I guess. It's just been so awful this entire week. The mayor able to do anything he wants. I mean, as long as he has you I can't do anything that he doesn't want me to. Spike and I are…trapped," Buffy said.

"I know that it seems hopeless Buffy, but you'll figure it out. The mayor might be evil, but he's a man of his word. It's remarkable really," Giles continued, taking off his glasses and cleaning them with a white handkerchief he produced from his pocket, "the mayor is such a complex character. Inherently good, polite, kind, and a man of his word, but his plans seem to be rooted in darkness."

"Seem to be?" The slayer asked. "I'd say that capturing you and holding you hostage so that Spike and I follow through with whatever he wants us to kind of puts him in the black hats category."

"Perhaps you're right," Giles agreed, smiling slightly. Spike smirked at the look that Giles was giving Buffy, one of complete exasperation as well as complete adoration. He was more of a father to her than her real father was.

"So, what do the Scoobies say about our situation?" Giles asked, not noticing the nervous look that passed between Buffy and Spike.

"They don't know," Buffy said, her voice low.

"Why not?" Giles asked in surprise.

"I don't want to put them in any danger. Spike and I can handle it. It's better this way. Spike and I will handle the mayor and the Scoobies will not know anything about it."

"Buffy, your friends want to keep you safe, the mayor may be a formidable foe, but he's one that your friends will be more than willing to help you defeat. I'm sure of it," Giles assured the slayer.

"It's not that," Buffy said.

"What is it then?" Giles asked.

After a moment of hesitation Buffy opened her mouth to speak. However, before she could, the glass doors of Giles cell opened and Riley ushered her and Spike out. Buffy looked back through the glass door at Giles as she and Spike followed Riley, back the way they came.

The three stopped on the balcony where the mayor was waiting. He dismissed Riley and then turned to Buffy and Spike.

"Is everything to your liking?" Mayor Wilkins asked

"I guess," Buffy responded neutrally.

"Do you both remember how you got here?" Mayor Wilkins asked.

"I think I do," Spike responded.

"Tomorrow after Buffy is finished with school I expect you both to report here. Professor Walsh has already explained what your duties this week will be, so I want you both to sign in by swiping your ID cards through the slot up here. Then, once you have carried out your assignments you swipe your cards through the machine once more and you are free to leave. Every few days I'll check in on you two, but for a while, that's all you'll be doing. Riley Finn will find you and take you to see Mr. Giles before you leave," Mayor Wilkins explained. Buffy and Spike nodded before exiting the initiative. It was going to be an interesting week.

I do not want to make reasons for you to stay, only reasons for you to return.

~Jonivan~


	34. Chapter 34

Part 34:

"What are you thinking about?" Spike asked Buffy. The pair had walked to the Slayer's house in total silence, and sat down on the steps of the porch. 

"Riley," The slayer answered.

"What about him?" Spike asked.

"He's so young. I mean, he can't be more than nineteen, and he's a shoulder. He thinks that he's doing the right thing. I looked in his eyes and he honestly thinks that he's saving somebody, that the mayor and Professor Walsh are helping him fight evil," Buffy answered.

"That's got you down, the fact that the boy doesn't know that he's in over his head?" Spike asked skeptically. He'd known the slayer long enough to know that almost every problem great enough to render her silent required some probing to get to.

"No," Buffy admitted honestly, "what if what I'm doing…being the slayer, fighting demons. What if I'm sitting around thinking that I'm doing the right thing, when really I'm the bad guy?"

"You can't be serious," Spike said.

"I am."

"Buffy, look at me," Spike said, taking the slayer's small hands in his own, "what you do is wonderful, and righteous, and important. You're a good person, and you do the right thing. The mayor is evil; you're not. What you do, who you are. You help people."

"But how do I know…" The slayer began, however Spike cut her off with a searing kiss.

When Spike pulled away from the kiss he rested his forehead on Buffy's and spoke to her softly.

"You do something amazing. And I am so proud of you." The slayer nodded in response to Spike's words.

"I'm proud of you too," Buffy whispered.

********************************************************************************************

"I'm going to tell them," Buffy announced to Spike. The slayer had gone to visit him before she began school and before even saying hello she had come out with that startling declaration.

"What are you talking about love?" Spike asked, taking the slayer's hand and leading her to the courtyard where they took seats around a fountain.

"I've been thinking a lot. About what you said, and about what Giles said. You were right. I fight evil. But I can't do it alone. I can't leave Giles in that tiny cell. He's fine now, yeah, but who knows what will happen next week. If we're going to stop the mayor from whatever evil goal he has in mind we're going to need help. I need my friends. I don't fight evil. We fight evil," Buffy explained, staring strait into Spike's eyes.

"Then we'll tell them," The vampire said, smirking slightly.

"Thank you," Buffy whispered, getting up to leave.

"One more thing," Spike yelled after the slayer, causing her to turn around, "When we see Giles today remind me to tell him that you're amazing," Spike requested.

"I won't let you forget."

"How could I?"

Perhaps love is the process of me leading you gently back to yourself.

~Antoine de Saint Exupery~


	35. Chapter 35

Part 35:

The Scoobies reactions to Buffy's announcements were basically the same, shocked faces that after a moment, registered hurt. However, by the end of the day Buffy had explained the entire situation and her friends had already begun researching the history of Sunnydale, the mayor, and the Initiative.

The rest of the day went well too, Buffy and Spike went to the Initiative and performed all their tasks. Their job for the day was to collect a package. It was simple enough. Spike and Buffy waited by the school entrance long after school had been left out and were approached by a man wearing light beige pants and a navy blue polo shirt. To anyone besides Spike and Buffy it looked as if the man was ordinary, perhaps a parent or teacher. However, Spike and Buffy recognized him instantly as the man who had a stack of papers that the mayor needed.

He stopped about a foot from Spike and Buffy and produced a folder. Buffy grabbed it from him, her facial expression giving away nothing. The slayer flipped through the folder, making sure that it was what the mayor wanted. When she realized that it was she pulled a thick wad of bills out of her back pocket and handed them to the man. She then nodded at him before turning on her heel and walking back towards the initiative with Spike.

As soon as she was sure that they were out of hearing range of the man the slayer exploded into laughter, skipping ahead of Spike and then circling back.

"Did you see me?" She asked with delight, "I was all strait faced and scary looking. Look at Buffy, making trades on the black market."

"You were wonderful love," Spike said, just a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Are you messing with me?" Buffy asked in mock anger.

"Maybe," Spike conceded, "But how can I not when your skipping like a school girl after you just made a trade for something that's probably illegal."

"It was just…I was so cool," The Slayer squealed in excitement.

"That you were love, that you were."

Back at the Initiative Buffy and Spike had visited Giles and were currently attempting to sign out. However, the machine wasn't cooperating, probably due to the fact that as soon as Spike had put his card through Buffy had started laughing hysterically. She had placed a hand on the machine to steady her, and had heard a loud 'crack' before seeing a piece of the machine fall from the balcony. Spike was muttering under his breath about how she was going to be the death of him, while Buffy continued to laugh.

"What is so funny?" Spike asked angrily. Giving the slayer a stern look. Buffy gained control of her laughter for a moment and answered Spike.

"I just keep remembering," the slayer began, before breaking out into a new set of giggles, "the mayor using the word swipe."

Spike gave the slayer a stern look for a moment. However, as soon as he replayed yesterday's conversation with the mayor he couldn't help but allow his lips to form a smile. Spike's smile turned to a frown after a moment though, and he placed a hand over the slayer's mouth in a desperate attempt to silence her. Buffy's giggles subsided and the slayer watched Spike inconspicuously press his ear against the wooden door of the mayor's office. Buffy did the same, hearing through the thick wooden door the conversation that Spike was listening too.

"Tomorrow Night?" Professor Walsh asked in surprise.

"Yes, exactly at midnight. It seems my calculations were incorrect. I assumed that the ritual could be performed in a year. However, it seems that tomorrow night is the night," Mayor Wilkins said.

"Are you nervous?" Professor Walsh asked.

"Not in the least."

"But what about the Slayer and the Vampire. They're not going to let us take over Sunnydale just because we ask nicely. Even if we hang the Slayer's Watcher over them, they're going to find a way to stop us," Professor Walsh reminded the mayor.

"Yes, I suppose you're right professor. I believe that our story's heroes might object to us opening the hellmouth and taking control of the world. Not to worry though, tomorrow when they report for work, twenty armed guards will be at the Initiative entrance with orders to exterminate them. They may be superheroes, but I don't think either will be in any condition to fight once their six feet under," Mayor Wilkins assured Professor Walsh, his tone light and easy. If you hadn't known that he was talking about killing two innocent people, you would have thought he had just invited a friend to go to a baseball game.

The rest of the conversation seemed to be small talk so Buffy and Spike removed their ears from the wooden door.

"You get all of that?" Spike asked the slayer.  
"Yeah. I missed a few words here and there, but I got everything important."

"So, what do you think we should do?" The vampire asked.

"I'd say it's back to the library, the Scoobies should have something helpful for us now."

"And then what?" Spike asked nervously.

"Then we save the world."

People always ask me what I believe in It's kind of ironic. I believe in love. Love is the only thing worth dying for. But here's the ironic part. It's also the only thing worth living for."

-TuesdayGirl (August 6, 2002)


	36. Chapter 36

Part 36:

"What do you want us to do Buffster?" Xander asked after Buffy and Spike had explained the situation.

"I don't even know. I guess…we need to get Giles out. And then we need to stop what the Mayor is planning. If we can get the folder that Spike and I delivered to him, that should stop him from unleashing hell," Buffy said.

"Sounds good in theory, but in actuality?" Xander asked, scrunching up an eyebrow as he looked at the slayer.

"In actuality the mayor will probably kill you all," Cordelia said with a toss of her hair.

"Cordelia Chase…eternal optimist," Oz said, receiving a chuckle from Tara, who sat one seat away from him.

"What is that supposed to mean Xander?" Cordelia asked angrily.

"I didn't say anything!" Buffy's brown haired friend protested, rising from his seat and looking at Cordelia angrily.

"And I should believe that because?" Cordelia asked, narrowing her eyes and rising from her seat so that she and Xander were looking eye to eye.

Buffy cut in before either of her friends could speak again.

"Guys, it doesn't matter who said what," The slayer explained, exasperated.

"Sorry Buff," Xander apologized meekly. The slayer didn't have a chance to respond as Spike and Willow came into the library from Giles' office. Willow was carrying a large stack of papers that she had just printed out, and Spike wore a weary expression.

"Is it bad?" The slayer asked as Spike came to stand behind her, kissing the top of her head.

"It's bad," Willow answered, coming to stand next to the Slayer and laying her printouts on the table that the other Scoobies sat around. All the Scoobies leaned in as Willow began explaining what she had printed.

"I managed to hack into the initiative database," The red-haired witch began, "It was tough. The Initiative isn't some little Sunnydale organization. It's a government branch. However, it's completely top secret. There's no way to access it from government web pages. There's only one way into their files. Once in things just got worse. The Initiative has high tech equipment. I'm sure you and Spike have seen what they can do. There are access codes to basically everything. And the codes…I could only get some of them."

"What are the print-outs for?" Buffy asked. Willow shuffled through the papers before pulling out one.

"This is a map of the Initiative. It includes all secret tunnels, room numbers, and all the access codes I could get a holy of. The only problem will be getting to Giles because he's in a high security area. I don't have the access code. I can get you into the corridor but after that, you're basically going to be stuck looking through the glass at Giles," Willow admitted sadly.

"Do you have the access code for the Mayor's office?" Buffy asked.

"I do. It was hard to get, but I managed."

"Are we going then?" Spike asked.

"Yeah," Buffy said, "I mean, if you're up for it…" The slayer finished teasingly. Spike nipped lightly at Buffy neck and whispered something in her ear that caused the Slayer to blush.

"I think that's a yes," Oz said.

"Sometimes I wish I had never met you, because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there."  
  
from Good Will Hunting


	37. Chapter 37

Part 37:

"What's the next number?" Spike asked.

"Two, then star," Buffy said.

"Okay," Spike said, plugging in the last two numbers. The door to the Mayor's office slid open and Spike and Buffy slipped inside and then shut the door behind them. The Slayer slipped Willow's map into her pocket, folding it neatly first. Spike flipped on the light and he and Buffy immediately moved to the mayor's desk and began searching through drawers.

"Why didn't he lock his drawers?" Buffy asked.

"I guess he figured no one would manage to get in," Spike said. After a moment he spoke again, "Got it!"

"What?" Buffy asked.

"Security card. All access pass," Spike said, holding up Mayor Wilkins' ID card triumphantly.

"Did you find the folder?" The Slayer asked. Spike rummaged through the mayor's drawer for a moment before looking up smiling.

"Got it," He replied, tucking the folder into the inner pocket of his duster.

"Knew I loved you for a reason," The slayer said teasingly, leaning over and kissing Spike gently on the lips. The vampire attempted to deepen the kiss. However, Buffy pushed him gently away and gave him a look that reminded him of their goal…Giles.

"How should we get to the watcher?" Spike asked, as Buffy pulled out Willow's map.

"There are lots of different ways, through the ceiling vents, through corridors, or on the elevator," The slayer responded.

"Which way is safest?" Spike asked.

"I don't know, the elevator probably. Once we enter the number on the back of the ID card the elevator will take us exactly where we need to be."

"OK then….let's not take the elevator," Spike said, receiving a smack on the back of his head.

Moments later Spike and Buffy were crawling through the ceiling vents. They had decided that it was the best way to go. Not too safe, (as Spike was vehemently opposed to taking the easy way out), but not too dangerous, as the vampire was also concerned for the slayer's well being.

"Almost there," Buffy said, crawling the length of a few more paces and then motioning for Spike to stop behind her. The slayer pulled a flashlight from her waistband and shined it on Willow's map.

"We go to far?" Spike asked, concerned.

"Nope. We should be right in front of Giles cell," The petite blonde said. Without a moments hesitation she kicked down the ceiling panel next to her, causing a cloud of dust to fly up and assault both Spike and Buffy's faces. Before Spike could warn the Slayer that someone might be down there, Buffy had jumped through the hole and landed, feet first, on the ground of the Initiative corridor. The slayer tucked Willow's map into her pocket as Spike jumped down next to her. Both rose and smiled, realizing that they had made it. However, at that moment a light buzzing sound reached Spike's and Buffy's ears. Both turned and came face to face with no other but Agent Riley Finn, holding a stun gun in one hand.

Prince Henry: "And what happens if the person you're supposed to be with never happens, or she does, and you're too distracted to notice?"  
  
Leonardo da Vinci: "You learn to pay attention!"  
  
from Ever After


	38. Chapter 38

Part 38:

"Stay where you are," Riley commanded in a deep voice. Buffy's eyes opened wide and Riley got a good look at whom he had found for the first time. "Buffy?" He whispered.

"Riley, don't shoot," The Slayer said.

"What are you doing here?" The agent asked, "Are you on a mission from the mayor?"

"Kind of," the Slayer replied. As soon as the words were out she mentally cursed herself for not just saying yes.

"Kind of…." Riley said, trailing off in an unspoken request for Buffy to clarify. Sensing the Slayer didn't know what to say, Spike spoke.

"Finn, listen to me. Slayer and I are trying to help people. Fight demons and what not. You're trying to help people, fight demons and what not. That man in the cell," Spike said, pointing to Giles, "he's not a demon. He's an ordinary guy. Now you have too choices. You can question Slayer and I about our intentions, or you can believe me when I say that we're on the side of good."

"It's true, Riley. I swear, we're trying to help people," Buffy whispered urgently, searching Riley's eyes for understanding. Riley nodded once and then turned around.

"I think I hear something over there," the agent said, pointing down the hallway, "I'm gonna' go check it out. Be gone when I get back." Buffy smiled at Riley's retreating back and then at Spike.

The vampire wasted no time in sliding the mayor's ID card through the slot in Giles cell. The glass door opened automatically and Buffy rushed in and knelt in the corner, where Giles was sleeping, hunched against a wall.

"Giles," the slayer whispered urgently, "wake up." The watcher opened his eyes slightly and then let out a yelp when he found himself staring into his slayer's hazel eyes.

"Buffy, you nearly gave me a heart attack," Giles whispered, taking the slayer's outstretched hand and rising to his feet.

"Come on Giles, we don't have much time." Buffy said, leading Giles out of his cell and then motioning for him and Spike to follow her. The slayer set out at a run, heading down the corridor in the same direction Riley had, going towards the elevator. As the threesome passed Riley the slayer paused for a second and leaned up to give Riley a quick peck on the cheek before whispering "thanks." She then joined Spike and Giles in the elevator.

"Should I be worried that Riley is competition?" Spike asked playfully. However, Buffy detected a hint of worry underneath his nonchalant tone of voice.

"Are you kidding?" The slayer asked, arching an eyebrow, "Could that guy be any more of a cardboard cut out?" Spike smiled at the slayer before pulling her into a deep kiss that she and Spike stopped only when Giles cleared his throat loudly.

"Sorry," Buffy whispered meekly.

"It's alright. I suppose I should be getting used to all these public displays of affection," Giles muttered as he took off his glasses and reached into a pocket for a hankerchief. After a moment of silence the elevator hit the sewers and the door opened. However, the opening of the door was accompanied with the sound of a loud alarm going off. Buffy looked at Spike nervously. The vampire took Buffy's hand and began running through the sewers, listening to their footsteps to make sure the watcher was still behind them.

Up in the corridor where Giles cell was the mayor, Professor Walsh, and another agent were questioning Riley.

"What happened?" The mayor asked.

"They took the man out of that cell and ran. My stun gun didn't help and they got away before I could stop them." Riley answered.

"Which way did they go?" Professor Walsh asked.

"Up through ceilings," Riley lied smoothly, "Then to the left."

"Thank you. Good work Finn," Professor Walsh said. Riley smiled and touched his cheek where the slayer had kissed him.  
"What can I say, Professor. I'm a good guy."

"I would rather have one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than an eternity without it. ONE!"  
  
from City of Angels


	39. Chapter 39

Part 39:

Giles knew at the moment he, Spike and Buffy exited the tunnels of the Initiative that the watcher training program needed to be revised. Giles was already breathing deeply by then, while Spike and Buffy were keeping up a steady pace, showing no signs of exhaustion. By the time the threesome reached Sunnydale High School Library the Watcher felt like he was dying. Still, he pressed on, slumping into a chair as soon as he reached one.

"What's wrong?" Willow asked, noting Giles tired state, and the slayer's slightly deep breaths.

"The Initiative alarm sounded. The soldiers are after us," The Slayer explained.

"What do we do, Buff?" Xander asked.

"Run," Cordelia suggested sarcastically.

"Exactly," The slayer answered, earning confused looks from Xander, Giles, Spike, and an excited look from Cordelia.

"What do you mean love?" Spike asked, narrowing his eyes as he looked at the Slayer in confusion.

"Right now our biggest priority is to stop the mayor's plans. I don't think we can afford being interrupted by guys armed with tazer guns," Buffy explained.

"Where can we go?" Willow asked.

"The mansion. It should be safe," Spike suggested.

"No good. They've seen us there. They have pictures of us there," The Slayer reminded Spike.

"Damn," Spike cursed softly.

"I have an idea," Buffy said. "Everyone grab the books that we need and follow me."

"Where are we going?" Tara asked.

"To a friend," The Slayer replied.

"Buffy," Angel said. The vampire had opened his door a crack when he heard an impatient knock and was startled to see the Slayer and Scoobies in the hallway. "What are you doing here?"

"I know that I have no right to ask this of you, but I need your help," Buffy said.

"What's wrong?"

"I'll explain inside," The Slayer replied, walking through the door that Angel had fully opened in silent invitation for the Scoobies to enter.

It was quite a site. Nine people trying to fit into a small apartment that barely had enough room for one. Willow sat next to Tara and Oz. Books spread in front of the three of them. Cordelia and Xander sat a few feet away from Willow. If the Scoobies hadn't been so busy they probably would have noticed that they were sitting very close to one another, and Xander's hand rested on the cheerleaders knee. Buffy, Spike and Angel all stood in the corner by the door, quietly discussing the situation. Giles stood in another corner, overseeing everything, as well as scanning through a book of magical rituals. There was only a small space left in the apartment, and the slayer figured that if Initiative soldiers did find them it wouldn't matter, there probably wasn't enough room to open the door.

"What exactly are we looking for?" Willow asked the slayer. "I mean, I've been looking through the folder that you and Spike took from the mayor, and it explains a lot, but I can't figure out how to stop the ritual."

"I don't even understand why it matters," Xander said, "The mayor doesn't have the folder, don't you think that not having the spell will make it a little bit hard to complete the ritual?"

"We're assuming that the mayor was smart enough to make copies of the information in the folder," Giles explained to the young brunette.

"Not assuming, we basically know for sure. The Initiative has access to the latest computer technology. The folders must be in ten different databases. Even if Spike and I had attempted to delete all the copies it would have been impossible to completely wipe the records," Buffy said.

"Still, I've been looking through books and maps and I don't even know what to say. Are we trying to stop the ritual…to kill Mayor Wilkins and Professor Walsh?" The redhead asked.

"Not kill them!" Buffy said quickly. "I think we just…" The slayer tailed off.

"I think what we need to do is to stop the mayor and Professor Walsh. From there, who knows? We can't kill them, and we don't exactly have enough evidence to get them behind bars," Spike said, making his way over to where Willow was and sitting on the floor across from her, taking a book out of the witch's hands. The vampire flipped a few pages in the spell book Willow had been looking at. "Here. This spell should help. It's hard, but you and Glinda should be able to manage," The vampire said, nodding his head towards Tara.

Willow took the book back from Spike.

"What's the spell do?" She asked, slightly embarrassed about her lack of knowledge.

"It stops the fabrics of time from bending in circles," Spike explained. At Willow's confused look he paused for a moment before taking an unnecessary breath and continuing. "See Red, every object is connected to every other object, as well as to the core of the earth. As time progresses all objects send information about what they're doing to the center of the earth. Kind of like a machine in a hospital takes recording of the movements of someone's heart. The shape generally associated with the messages sent is a circle. This spell is designed to send a message to the center of the earth. The message would ask that a specific object, one that you specify, stop sending messages to other objects. That would give you a window of time in which you could pull a certain object from its location and move it to another one instantly."

"I don't understand the last part of what you said, about pulling an object from its rightful location in the universe," Willow said.

"It's like this," Spike said, standing and picking up a random book from in front of Willow. Objects generally travel like this." The vampire walked across the room and handed the book in his hand to Buffy, giving her a peck on the cheek when he reached her. "The spell would allow an object to travel like this." Spike moved back over to Willow and then threw the book he was holding to the Slayer. Giles opened his mouth to protest, however, Buffy caught the book. "There's no travel time. The book would be taken out of one location and automatically appear in another. No physical movement."

"It would be like…" Xander trailed off.

"Magic," Oz supplied.

"When they ask me what I liked best, I'll say it was you."  
  
from City of Angels


	40. Chapter 40

Part 40:

The details of the spell had been worked out. Angel had all the ingredients needed, which turned out to only be two white candles and an object from the retriever. The retriever was the person sent to collect the object. In this case Buffy. All she would need to do was to touch the book and it would appear in front of the spell casters. Normally a retriever would not be needed. However, Willow and Tara were not advanced enough to simply visualize the book. They needed physical contact. Therefore, Giles was the Slayer's anchor. He had taken the necklace Buffy wore as her anchor to him. Clutching the simple silver chain and cross in his hand he silently prayed to whatever spirit protected slayers to watch out for Buffy. A demon would pose no challenge for the Slayer. But humans trying to take over the world-now that was something to worry about.

"Why didn't you tell me you knew so much about magic?" Buffy asked Spike. The vampire had insisted on accompanying her when she retrieved the book. That's why the pair stood outside the town's magic shop where the Mayor and Professor Walsh were setting up to perform their spell.

"I have many hidden talents love," Spike said softly, his voice low and dangerous, sending shivers through the Slayer.

"Really," Buffy said. She was about to continue when Spike signaled for her to listen to what the mayor was saying.

"I think that's everything Maggie. Before we begin. Well gosh, I just want you to know how amazing you've been. I know that we've had our problems. The mishap with the slayer and vampire was unfortunate. But I'm just so overwhelmed by how everything came together," Mayor Wilkins said. Professor Walsh smiled slightly before turning her attention back to the task at hand.

"We should begin the ritual," She said.

Buffy looked at Spike, concern marring her features.

"We'll have to rush them as soon as the ritual begins," The vampire said, answering the question that the Slayer dared not ask. Buffy nodded and allowed Spike to envelop her comfortingly into his arms. The brave face she put on gave way to worry and fear as Spike held her tightly, hoping that holding her close would transfer his strength to her.

"Demon come forth," The mayor spoke, his normally chipper voice booming, reminding the vampire and Slayer that he, no matter how human, was the enemy. "Come forth and do my bidding."

Professor Walsh lit the candles that surrounded her and the mayor before taking her place inside the circle.

"Demon come forth," She spoke. Those simple words triggered a reaction and the ground shook. A light rumbling was all that came at first. However, it quickly escalated (crescendoed isn't a word…although it should be)and soon a large hole appeared where the Mayor and Professor Walsh were sitting. They jumped up in time to avoid falling into the crevice.

"We must continue the ritual!" The mayor screamed. Buffy didn't even look at Spike for confirmation. She simply rushed through the store window, which had broken due to the rumbling of the Earth. Ignoring the shouts of the Mayor and Professor the Slayer grabbed the book that the mayor was reading out of, which appeared to merely be the papers that were in the folder she and Spike had stolen all stapled together. She barely had time to close it before it disappeared from her hands. At first, thinking she had dropped it, the slayer looked around frantically, until it registered that the spell must have worked, the book must be safely in Angel's apartment. Buffy was broken from her reverie at Spike's scream, which overpowered the noise of the earth rumbling.

"Run!" The vampire screamed. Buffy leaped over a crevice and made her way towards Spike, only to fall unconscious to the ground. The earth had broken underneath a bookshelf, and the shelf had fallen on top of the Slayer. Spike stared at Buffy, unable to move. It was as if the noise of the magic shop falling to ruins was miles away. All he saw was Buffy's limp form. The sounds of the earth splitting blocked the sounds of Buffy's heartbeat and Spike had no idea whether or not she was alive.

Back in Angel's apartment Giles suddenly fell to the ground, unconscious, Buffy's cross still clutched in his hand. The Scoobies tried, with no avail, to wake him.

Spike rushed into the magic box, ignoring the Mayor and Professor Walsh, who stood in the corner of the shop, staring at a large crevice in the center of the shop where something appeared to be emerging from. All Spike cared about was reaching Buffy, which he did. The vampire set to work on clearing wood and books off the slayer, still not hearing her heartbeat.

The first sign of life the Mayor saw from the hole in the ground was a claw. Pale and covered in green white slime it resembled something from a horror movie-the perfect demon for world domination. The creature finally fully emerged. Large and completely coated in white slime in looked at the mayor and Professor Walsh, immediately recognizing them as his masters. The creature looked at Spike, immediately recognizing the need to protect his masters from Spike. However, this need was replaced within seconds from him reaching earth as he watched silently as a bookshelf fell atop Professor Walsh and Mayor Wilkins. The demon would have stopped the shelf, it was just that his eyes were focused on Spike who had managed to clear books off the slayer and looked so relieved when her eyes fluttered open slightly…

In Angel's apartment Giles awoke suddenly. The Scoobies looked at him with questioning glances. However, he couldn't speak, his eyes had turned black and he found that he was no longer looking at the Scoobies, but at a picture of Spike and Buffy. Giles saw the demon walking towards Spike and Buffy, both who looked unaware of the demon.

"Behind you!" Giles heard his inner voice screamed, and was surprised when Spike turned, as if responding to his shout, and saw the demon coming towards him. Buffy rose shakily to her feet and pulled two knives from her waistband, handing one to Spike. The demon came towards them and was immediately assaulted as Buffy threw her knife straight into his eye. That was all it took. The earthquake that had been raging stopped and the demon immediately melted into a puddle of white goo. Buffy and Spike shared an amused look. There was something insanely funny about watching a mighty demon melt into nothing after a simple wound. However, their look turned to pity when their gaze fell on the corner of the magic shop where Mayor Wilkins and Professor Walsh lay dead, underneath a tall bookshelf.

"Let's go pet," Spike whispered, pulling a slightly distressed Buffy from the scene., "We need to check on the Scoobies."

Back at Angel's apartment Giles eyes turned back to their normal color and he let go of the Slayer's cross and chain. Willow and Tara blew out the white candles they had used for the spell and all the Scoobies shared looks of happiness.

"What now?" Xander asked.

"We saved the world," Willow said.

"Party?" Cordelia suggested.

Jack: What would you do if I kissed you right now?  
  
Melanie: You wouldn't kiss me.  
  
Jack: But what would you do if I did?  
  
Melanie: Do you want to kiss me right now?  
  
Jack: I wouldn't have mentioned it if I didn't.  
  
from One fine Day


	41. Chapter 41

Part 41:

"Today Sunnydale mourns the loss of two fine citizens. Mayor Wilkins and Professor Walsh," a female newscaster said. Spike and Buffy were cuddled on the couch of the Summers' living room, watching the morning news. Joyce was out running errands the entire day, and Spike and Buffy were enjoying having the house to themselves. The sound of the doorbell ringing wafted into the living room and Buffy lazily detached herself from Spike's arms and padded over to the front door, combing a hand through her hair absentmindedly.

"Riley," The slayer said in surprise when she opened the door and came face to face with the soldier.

"I found out this was your house," Riley explained, "I wanted to talk to you."

"Should we go out on the porch?" Buffy asked.

"No, this is fine, it will only take a minute."

"I just wanted you to know that I'm going back to Iowa. I figured that I need a little time off from school. And I wanted to thank you. You and Spike really opened my eyes. Helped me see some things. I mean, sometimes the truth is scary, and confusing, but it's the truth. I think that not being ignorant is better than simply being happy,"' Riley said.

"I'm glad you think so. But Spike and I can't take all the credit. You're a good man Riley," Buffy insisted.

"And I really believe that. I just wanted to tell you where I'll be," Riley said, producing a piece of paper from his pocket. "This is the address of where I'm staying. If you ever need help you can call me. I'm a good guy now."

"Stay safe, Riley," Buffy said as Riley turned and walked back to his car.

The Slayer went back inside and moved back into Spike's arms on the couch.

"He fancies you," Spike said to the Slayer after a moment of silence.

"Yeah, well I fancy you, so as you would say 'don't get you're knickers in a twist," the slayer said, imitating Spike's accent.

"I do not sound like that," the vampire protested loudly. Buffy responded with a snort and settled deeper into Spike's arms.

"I love you," She whispered, "so much."

"Love you too pet. More than anything in this world or the next."

"You'll still love me when I tell you something," Buffy said skeptically.

"Of course," Spike assured the Slayer, not prepared for what she said next.

"We're going bowling with Xander and Cordelia, and Willow and Tara," The slayer said. Xander and Cordelia and Willow and Tara had begun dating shortly after the averted apocalypse and had requested that all three couples do something together.

"I can't believe we're going on a date with the whelp and his cheerleader. I mean, red and glinda are decent people. But…" Spike trailed off when he met the Slayer's eyes.

"I'm guessing I'll have to make this up to you," She said softly, her tongue tracing the outline of her lips. Spike watched, mesmerized.

"That might help," The vampire managed to croak out.

"Well we're going tomorrow. So, I'd say I better start thanking you for agreeing now," The Slayer said, standing and making her way to the stairs, hips swinging.

"Where are you going?" Spike asked.

"I think I'm going to go take a bath," Buffy replied. "I might get lonely up there though. Want to come?" The slayer didn't wait for an answer, she continued up the stairs, leaving a trail of discarded clothing that she knew Spike would pick up on his way. Up in the bathroom Buffy could faintly hear Spike approaching, murmuring something about beautiful Slayer' being the death of him. "Oh yeah," Buffy whispered to herself as the door to the bathroom opened slowly. "It's good to be me."

The End

Thanks Everyone.  It's been…quite a ride!

A special thank you to…

Colleen, my beta

Everyone who reviewed

And all the authors who serve as my inspiration!


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